Saying NO To The Narcissist
Never confuse someone's kindness or generosity for having the personality of a pushover.
I am a nurturer by nature. I typically will help anyone if I see the need. Feeding someone, buying others groceries, giving rides, or even just a listening ear. I do not believe I am the exception, I believe I am the rule. I believe the majority of people are good, and kind.
This week, my kindness and compassionate nature was mistaken for being easily led, and foolish. Those things, I am not. In my younger years, when I didn't realize people could take advantage of someone's giving nature, yes, I was a pushover and foolish.
That being said, I guess I was foolish this week. I was deceived by an experienced narcissist, who played on my sympathetic heart strings. Deceived, only that this persons sad story made me grateful for my happy life, guilty in the respect that I wanted to help this person overcome problems, with the help of specialized council.
Like true narcissistic behavior, as soon as I didn't give this person what they wanted, I, was then, delegated to being part of the establishment that continually let this person down. I, of course knew different, and immediately knew what was happening. When I called this person on their deception, things turned very volatile. Once I am angry, there is nothing anyone is going to say to me to change it, other than my husband, and sometimes even he can't. I can claim temporary insanity. However, when two angry people butt heads, there is always going to be a fight.
Age, maturity and wisdom, allowed me to walk away and not say anything. I, am left feeling used and angry, but I recover quickly. Like I said, a narcissist will always look for sympathy from someone, and, when I saw this person, working the same bullsh*t on someone else's kind nature, well, suffice to say, that is when my other disposition reared it's ugly head.
I can't stand by and watch an innocent person be taken because of their sense of kindness and genuine caring. I turned into a raging bull, full of vinegar, trying to rid the world of yet another wart on the end of society's nose.
There were no more discussions, I had exhausted those, there was no more compassion, or kindness, or face to face confrontation. You cannot reason with a narcissist, they refuse to listen, and once they realize you can't be manipulated, they attack your moral character. I had experienced that before, so I no longer concentrated on this person, instead, I focused on the one being manipulated.
I am happy to say, between my husband, who spoke kindly and lovingly, and myself who was more black and white, we presented the facts, and they were accepted. Tragedy averted.
Narcissists live for deceit, and if they can't make you believe their lies, they attempt to make you look like the liar.
Don't stop helping others because of one of these experiences. Use it to recognize it in the future so it doesn't happen again. Keep being kind, helping people and listening.
Don't be less of who you are because of a negative experience.
I am a nurturer by nature. I typically will help anyone if I see the need. Feeding someone, buying others groceries, giving rides, or even just a listening ear. I do not believe I am the exception, I believe I am the rule. I believe the majority of people are good, and kind.
This week, my kindness and compassionate nature was mistaken for being easily led, and foolish. Those things, I am not. In my younger years, when I didn't realize people could take advantage of someone's giving nature, yes, I was a pushover and foolish.
That being said, I guess I was foolish this week. I was deceived by an experienced narcissist, who played on my sympathetic heart strings. Deceived, only that this persons sad story made me grateful for my happy life, guilty in the respect that I wanted to help this person overcome problems, with the help of specialized council.
Like true narcissistic behavior, as soon as I didn't give this person what they wanted, I, was then, delegated to being part of the establishment that continually let this person down. I, of course knew different, and immediately knew what was happening. When I called this person on their deception, things turned very volatile. Once I am angry, there is nothing anyone is going to say to me to change it, other than my husband, and sometimes even he can't. I can claim temporary insanity. However, when two angry people butt heads, there is always going to be a fight.
Age, maturity and wisdom, allowed me to walk away and not say anything. I, am left feeling used and angry, but I recover quickly. Like I said, a narcissist will always look for sympathy from someone, and, when I saw this person, working the same bullsh*t on someone else's kind nature, well, suffice to say, that is when my other disposition reared it's ugly head.
I can't stand by and watch an innocent person be taken because of their sense of kindness and genuine caring. I turned into a raging bull, full of vinegar, trying to rid the world of yet another wart on the end of society's nose.
There were no more discussions, I had exhausted those, there was no more compassion, or kindness, or face to face confrontation. You cannot reason with a narcissist, they refuse to listen, and once they realize you can't be manipulated, they attack your moral character. I had experienced that before, so I no longer concentrated on this person, instead, I focused on the one being manipulated.
I am happy to say, between my husband, who spoke kindly and lovingly, and myself who was more black and white, we presented the facts, and they were accepted. Tragedy averted.
Narcissists live for deceit, and if they can't make you believe their lies, they attempt to make you look like the liar.
Don't stop helping others because of one of these experiences. Use it to recognize it in the future so it doesn't happen again. Keep being kind, helping people and listening.
Don't be less of who you are because of a negative experience.
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