Help! I'm Folded Up And I Can't Get Out!
We finally have a day with no rain! That's really quite amazing, considering we have had almost ten days of consecutive cold, rainy weather. Today is a lovely change.
I was not the only one happy to not see gray clouds and rain. My grandson, was eager to be outside and explore the backyard once again. Afterall, who knows what new adventures lay in wait for a two year old little boy.
While my grandson was rediscovering all of his water logged toys, I began picking up the cushions from our patio set and lounge. They were soaked, so I stood them up in the sun, in hopes of them draining and eventually drying. I was busy pulling some of the weeds that always seem to thrive between my patio stones. After what felt like hours, but was only thirty minutes, my knees were screaming Enough already! I listened to them, and decided maybe a sit down for a few minutes might quiet all of the complaints from my back and knees.
Being as my patio set had no cushions, I pulled out one of my portable folding chairs. I plunked it in the middle of my yard where I could see every move from my little explorer. The sun was nice but the wind was still cool, so I decided a move into the sun would be nice.
My knees were sore from kneeling on the cement, so instead of standing, picking up my chair and actually moving it, I stood up only half way, lifted my butt and skipped the chair over. I moved about two inches. I needed to move about a foot. Once again, I half hauled my fat ass up and skipped myself and the chair into the sun...sort of.
I didn't actually move over, but I did manage to move up. The chair, sensed my weight had shifted out of it, so it proceeded to fold up when I bounced my weight over. "Oh oh." I was folded up in my chair, quite well in fact. This isn't what I had in mind at all. I placed my hands on both sides of the chair, and pushed to open up the chair. Who knew that doing such a thing would propel you, chair and all straight back? I didn't, but let me say, when and if you are ever in a similar situation, don't forget to lift your head before you hit the ground. There I was, head on my patio stones, face in the sun, legs drawn up to my chin, arms still holding the side of the chair. My grandson, hearing me yelp in pain came over with his shovel to investigate. He looked down at me and asked "OK?" "Mmhhm." I groaned, not sure if I was trying to assure him or myself. My grandson, sensing I wasn't comfortable, said "Mama, up!" and proceeded to pull my left arm. My grandson is strong, but not that strong. He did however manage to fold my torso up in the chair a little further, I felt like a turtle on its back, getting sucked into a tornado.
I couldn't roll over on my side, and I couldn't sit up. I was stuck. I began to wiggle my back end in the chair and push on the arm of the chair at the same time. I gradually began to free myself. No wonder babies cry when they are born!
After what felt like forever, I could roll over and crawl out, and then stand up. I thought my back and knees hurt before! I yelled at them to shut up, that it was their fault I was in that position in the first place.
By this point, I was ready for a sit down in a real chair, and my grandson was rubbing his eyes, ready for a nap. It was hard work pulling grandma up.
Yes, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, my grandson is sleeping beside me, and I'm in the house, sitting down in a non folding chair. Life is good...unpredictable but good.
I was not the only one happy to not see gray clouds and rain. My grandson, was eager to be outside and explore the backyard once again. Afterall, who knows what new adventures lay in wait for a two year old little boy.
While my grandson was rediscovering all of his water logged toys, I began picking up the cushions from our patio set and lounge. They were soaked, so I stood them up in the sun, in hopes of them draining and eventually drying. I was busy pulling some of the weeds that always seem to thrive between my patio stones. After what felt like hours, but was only thirty minutes, my knees were screaming Enough already! I listened to them, and decided maybe a sit down for a few minutes might quiet all of the complaints from my back and knees.
Being as my patio set had no cushions, I pulled out one of my portable folding chairs. I plunked it in the middle of my yard where I could see every move from my little explorer. The sun was nice but the wind was still cool, so I decided a move into the sun would be nice.
My knees were sore from kneeling on the cement, so instead of standing, picking up my chair and actually moving it, I stood up only half way, lifted my butt and skipped the chair over. I moved about two inches. I needed to move about a foot. Once again, I half hauled my fat ass up and skipped myself and the chair into the sun...sort of.
I didn't actually move over, but I did manage to move up. The chair, sensed my weight had shifted out of it, so it proceeded to fold up when I bounced my weight over. "Oh oh." I was folded up in my chair, quite well in fact. This isn't what I had in mind at all. I placed my hands on both sides of the chair, and pushed to open up the chair. Who knew that doing such a thing would propel you, chair and all straight back? I didn't, but let me say, when and if you are ever in a similar situation, don't forget to lift your head before you hit the ground. There I was, head on my patio stones, face in the sun, legs drawn up to my chin, arms still holding the side of the chair. My grandson, hearing me yelp in pain came over with his shovel to investigate. He looked down at me and asked "OK?" "Mmhhm." I groaned, not sure if I was trying to assure him or myself. My grandson, sensing I wasn't comfortable, said "Mama, up!" and proceeded to pull my left arm. My grandson is strong, but not that strong. He did however manage to fold my torso up in the chair a little further, I felt like a turtle on its back, getting sucked into a tornado.
I couldn't roll over on my side, and I couldn't sit up. I was stuck. I began to wiggle my back end in the chair and push on the arm of the chair at the same time. I gradually began to free myself. No wonder babies cry when they are born!
After what felt like forever, I could roll over and crawl out, and then stand up. I thought my back and knees hurt before! I yelled at them to shut up, that it was their fault I was in that position in the first place.
By this point, I was ready for a sit down in a real chair, and my grandson was rubbing his eyes, ready for a nap. It was hard work pulling grandma up.
Yes, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, my grandson is sleeping beside me, and I'm in the house, sitting down in a non folding chair. Life is good...unpredictable but good.
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