I'm Still A Hot Babe, But Now It Comes In Flashes
A hot, humid summer and a menopausal woman just don't mix. Take it from me, I am starting to believe I am the cause of global warming, and I'm sure I keep seeing Al Gore following me, narrating my carbon footprint!
I have always felt the heat, cold has rarely bothered me. My husband, on the other hand, can't cope with the cold. So, he and I have an ongoing war over the thermostat. I tend to go lower and he wants higher. I always joke that if my husband went to hell, he would tell the devil to stoke the fires!
Consequently, summer thus far, has been stifling for me. I have daily saunas resulting in me soaking wet with sweat. The expression Women don't sweat, they glow...is a lie! We sweat.
It amazes me when I see a woman my age walking around looking all cool and put together, looking great. Her face isn't dripping or red, her hair is perfectly coiffed, her clothes aren't damp or rumpled and she has a smile on her face. I imagine these women have had their sweat glands removed. That is the only reasonable explanation. I, on the other hand, look like I just came out of a spin cycle on a washing machine. I'm a mess.
I used to sing with the radio as I did my chores. These days, I sing a different song-
Oh where or where has my estrogen gone?
Oh where or where can it be?
I was once young and fair,
Now I sprout facial hair-
Oh estrogen please come back to me!
At a point in my life when I am supposed to be more relaxed, and less stressed out, I am exactly the opposite. Menopause is a tiger, and makes PMS look like a playful kitten. This isn't exactly how I pictured menopause. Menopause is the pausing of a woman's menses. No more period, and that's a good thing. However, there is a price to be paid for not having my period. Mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain, thinning hair, and forgetfulness.
My husband keeps telling me to read about natural cures. Cures? There is no cure for menopause. Just death, and not necessarily mine! I just have to live with it. Sure I have tried things. Black and blue cohosh, sage 😧 everything and anything...except estrogen which my doctor won't prescribe, misogynist bastard.
Well, it will pass...eventually. Until then, my air conditioner and ice are my constant companions.
I have always felt the heat, cold has rarely bothered me. My husband, on the other hand, can't cope with the cold. So, he and I have an ongoing war over the thermostat. I tend to go lower and he wants higher. I always joke that if my husband went to hell, he would tell the devil to stoke the fires!
Consequently, summer thus far, has been stifling for me. I have daily saunas resulting in me soaking wet with sweat. The expression Women don't sweat, they glow...is a lie! We sweat.
It amazes me when I see a woman my age walking around looking all cool and put together, looking great. Her face isn't dripping or red, her hair is perfectly coiffed, her clothes aren't damp or rumpled and she has a smile on her face. I imagine these women have had their sweat glands removed. That is the only reasonable explanation. I, on the other hand, look like I just came out of a spin cycle on a washing machine. I'm a mess.
I used to sing with the radio as I did my chores. These days, I sing a different song-
Oh where or where has my estrogen gone?
Oh where or where can it be?
I was once young and fair,
Now I sprout facial hair-
Oh estrogen please come back to me!
At a point in my life when I am supposed to be more relaxed, and less stressed out, I am exactly the opposite. Menopause is a tiger, and makes PMS look like a playful kitten. This isn't exactly how I pictured menopause. Menopause is the pausing of a woman's menses. No more period, and that's a good thing. However, there is a price to be paid for not having my period. Mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain, thinning hair, and forgetfulness.
My husband keeps telling me to read about natural cures. Cures? There is no cure for menopause. Just death, and not necessarily mine! I just have to live with it. Sure I have tried things. Black and blue cohosh, sage 😧 everything and anything...except estrogen which my doctor won't prescribe, misogynist bastard.
Well, it will pass...eventually. Until then, my air conditioner and ice are my constant companions.
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