They Are The Wind, I Am The Sail
Over the past few weeks, I seem to have lost my oomph. I'm not sure when it happened, or if it was even gradual or sudden. I can honestly say I have no recollection of it beginning.
Not only did I no longer publish my blog daily, I no longer did my daily chores, such as making my bed, or making dinner everyday. This, is not me.
My husband says I am depressed. Perhaps, but I'm not that delicate. I think I just lost my momentum. Remember Newton's first law of motion? "A body in motion will stay in motion, unless acted upon by an outside source." I, believe that was my problem.
After having custody of my grandchildren for seven months, they finally went back to my daughter's home. It was a good thing. My daughter was thrilled, as were her children. I was too, or I thought I was. However, after they were gone, I found myself walking around with no direction. My daily routine of morning hugs and cuddles, making breakfast, and getting my granddaughter off to school were over. It was just my son and I in the morning, and he was gone by six thirty. My husband was still sleeping. I could not for the life of me, focus on anything. I was in distress, and no one noticed. I had no clue how to put one foot in front of the other. I felt like I was suffocating.
My friends were all happy for us. It's a lot of work raising little ones all over again. I figured it out, so by the time they had to go back, I loved my daily life and it's busy routine. At first, I assumed I was just tired and needed some much needed rest. As it turns out, I wasn't. I was more exhausted not having them here everyday.
I found myself spending hours at my daughter's home, and inviting them here. I felt better, more like myself when they were with me. I needed to get a grip on my life and my emotions.
I couldn't even go through the motions. Everything seemed wrong, like biting a piece of aluminium foil. It won't kill you, but it doesn't feel good.
I decided that I needed to approach this differently. I asked myself how people successfully quit a habit. The answer, lots of determination, and changing their routine. That was exactly what I needed, a change of routine. Instead of sitting in my kitchen every morning, waiting for the pitter patter of little feet coming to find me, I began going outside on my patio to drink my coffee. It helped. I heard the birds singing, saw the chipmunks running around, and my mind began freeing itself of what it thought I should be doing. I began to look forward to being greeted by my ravenous little backyard friends every morning.
I have had to totally re-program my thinking. It has been very difficult, but it is working. I am a nurturer by nature. That's who I am. I can't change that. My heart will always be attached to my family. They are the wind, and I am the sail. They blow, and I catch it, moving our family to where it needs to go. Some think I'm crazy, but I know this is me. I enjoy the days when the winds are still, but I need the days when the winds are gale forces.
So now, when the winds don't blow, I adjust my sails. Afterall, a sail was meant to catch the wind.
Not only did I no longer publish my blog daily, I no longer did my daily chores, such as making my bed, or making dinner everyday. This, is not me.
My husband says I am depressed. Perhaps, but I'm not that delicate. I think I just lost my momentum. Remember Newton's first law of motion? "A body in motion will stay in motion, unless acted upon by an outside source." I, believe that was my problem.
After having custody of my grandchildren for seven months, they finally went back to my daughter's home. It was a good thing. My daughter was thrilled, as were her children. I was too, or I thought I was. However, after they were gone, I found myself walking around with no direction. My daily routine of morning hugs and cuddles, making breakfast, and getting my granddaughter off to school were over. It was just my son and I in the morning, and he was gone by six thirty. My husband was still sleeping. I could not for the life of me, focus on anything. I was in distress, and no one noticed. I had no clue how to put one foot in front of the other. I felt like I was suffocating.
My friends were all happy for us. It's a lot of work raising little ones all over again. I figured it out, so by the time they had to go back, I loved my daily life and it's busy routine. At first, I assumed I was just tired and needed some much needed rest. As it turns out, I wasn't. I was more exhausted not having them here everyday.
I found myself spending hours at my daughter's home, and inviting them here. I felt better, more like myself when they were with me. I needed to get a grip on my life and my emotions.
I couldn't even go through the motions. Everything seemed wrong, like biting a piece of aluminium foil. It won't kill you, but it doesn't feel good.
I decided that I needed to approach this differently. I asked myself how people successfully quit a habit. The answer, lots of determination, and changing their routine. That was exactly what I needed, a change of routine. Instead of sitting in my kitchen every morning, waiting for the pitter patter of little feet coming to find me, I began going outside on my patio to drink my coffee. It helped. I heard the birds singing, saw the chipmunks running around, and my mind began freeing itself of what it thought I should be doing. I began to look forward to being greeted by my ravenous little backyard friends every morning.
I have had to totally re-program my thinking. It has been very difficult, but it is working. I am a nurturer by nature. That's who I am. I can't change that. My heart will always be attached to my family. They are the wind, and I am the sail. They blow, and I catch it, moving our family to where it needs to go. Some think I'm crazy, but I know this is me. I enjoy the days when the winds are still, but I need the days when the winds are gale forces.
So now, when the winds don't blow, I adjust my sails. Afterall, a sail was meant to catch the wind.
That was really good thanks missed you
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