I Still Laugh, But Now It's A Low Simmer
Today, when I opened my Facebook, a memory notification from a year ago came up. It was my Boxing Day blog, Boxing Day Baking Blahs.
I couldn't help myself, I clicked on it, and instantly I was taken back to a day full of love, and humour. I heard something as I read, it was laughter, and it was emanating from me! Laughter is something that has been a little short for me these past six months. It seems the only thing constant in my life lately has been stress and desperation, both in plentiful supply.
I decided to share my year old blog, for sh*t and giggles. I had a couple of friends comment that they missed my blogs. If I was honest with myself, I missed writing them too. They were therapeutic to say the least.
So, here I am, six months later, proverbial pen in hand, sharing my heartache for the past six months.
Once again, my husband and I have our grandchildren living with us. We have since July. It's been a busy, emotional, and draining period in our lives. As I have mentioned before, my daughter is bipolar. My family, has been on the bipolar roller coaster, with a maniacal woman at the controls. Just when we thought it was going to stop, our necks would snap back with the force of a high speed acceleration. We were up, down, in a dark tunnel, back to the blinding sunlight, around this track of never ending madness, pleading for her to stop it and let us off.
Over these past months, I have been reading everything I could get my hands on about her mental health problem. The more I read, the less I knew! I was in a nightmare.
My grandchildren, were confused about once again living at our house, I myself didn't have much more clarity than them. All I could do was love them and reassure them that everything was OK, and they were safe and loved. They are thriving! My granddaughter is six now and reading, and writing, counting, and doing math problems. She is very artistic as well as articulate. She is a sensitive little gem of a child. My grandson, just shy of three, is now toilet trained, and talks up a storm. He knows what he likes and what he doesn't. He too, enjoys drawing, and colouring and is proud to put his artwork on the fridge. His ready smile and sweet disposition helps me see the positive in our situation. They, are my saviours in these trying times.
I don't know what the future has in store for my family, and that's a good thing. I know that I have a husband, son, grandchildren, and yes, my daughter that all love me. I know that the Lord has me in His sight too. I never would have survived without Him! He has given me strength, helped me to forgive, and showed me love really is the greatest thing in life.
Perhaps, my wacky, crazy life, full of humorous antics will return, maybe it will be replaced with running after little ones at the park. Who knows?
Whichever the case, I am still blessed. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and I'm not in a war torn country, or running from a crazed gunman shooting people...wait, I've already done that! I still have my warped sense of humour, it's just on a low simmer these days.
I couldn't help myself, I clicked on it, and instantly I was taken back to a day full of love, and humour. I heard something as I read, it was laughter, and it was emanating from me! Laughter is something that has been a little short for me these past six months. It seems the only thing constant in my life lately has been stress and desperation, both in plentiful supply.
I decided to share my year old blog, for sh*t and giggles. I had a couple of friends comment that they missed my blogs. If I was honest with myself, I missed writing them too. They were therapeutic to say the least.
So, here I am, six months later, proverbial pen in hand, sharing my heartache for the past six months.
Once again, my husband and I have our grandchildren living with us. We have since July. It's been a busy, emotional, and draining period in our lives. As I have mentioned before, my daughter is bipolar. My family, has been on the bipolar roller coaster, with a maniacal woman at the controls. Just when we thought it was going to stop, our necks would snap back with the force of a high speed acceleration. We were up, down, in a dark tunnel, back to the blinding sunlight, around this track of never ending madness, pleading for her to stop it and let us off.
Over these past months, I have been reading everything I could get my hands on about her mental health problem. The more I read, the less I knew! I was in a nightmare.
My grandchildren, were confused about once again living at our house, I myself didn't have much more clarity than them. All I could do was love them and reassure them that everything was OK, and they were safe and loved. They are thriving! My granddaughter is six now and reading, and writing, counting, and doing math problems. She is very artistic as well as articulate. She is a sensitive little gem of a child. My grandson, just shy of three, is now toilet trained, and talks up a storm. He knows what he likes and what he doesn't. He too, enjoys drawing, and colouring and is proud to put his artwork on the fridge. His ready smile and sweet disposition helps me see the positive in our situation. They, are my saviours in these trying times.
I don't know what the future has in store for my family, and that's a good thing. I know that I have a husband, son, grandchildren, and yes, my daughter that all love me. I know that the Lord has me in His sight too. I never would have survived without Him! He has given me strength, helped me to forgive, and showed me love really is the greatest thing in life.
Perhaps, my wacky, crazy life, full of humorous antics will return, maybe it will be replaced with running after little ones at the park. Who knows?
Whichever the case, I am still blessed. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and I'm not in a war torn country, or running from a crazed gunman shooting people...wait, I've already done that! I still have my warped sense of humour, it's just on a low simmer these days.
Comments
Post a Comment