Silence isn't Always Golden

     Life is great...until it's not.  A few months ago my daughter called me.  She was audibly upset so I asked her what was wrong.  She told me "Mom, I feel that when I talk to you, you don't hear me."  Denial and disbelief raised their ugly heads immediately.  Indignantly I said, too forcefully into the phone  "I most certainly do!"  Anger and hurt were vying for first place in the emotions race.  My daughter began to cry and disconnected our call.  I began to pace around, shaken by this ludicrous epiphany my daughter had just shared with me.  I wanted to get into my car and drive over there and give her a piece of my mind!  I rewound 23 years in 30 seconds.  I recalled how at 17, my daughter told me she was pregnant.  I wanted to freak out (ok I did for about 5 minutes), we survived and we were rewarded with a beautiful little girl. Then, 2 1/2 years later she told me the same news again!  This time I was better prepared and, yes, my precious grandson was born.  As far as mother/daughter relationships went I thought ours was great.  I was wrong.  True, I have always been there for my children, during surgery, stitches, broken bones with my son and pregnancy, labour and birth with my daughter.  I just couldn't grasp the idea that I wasn't attentive enough to my child.  So, swallowing a piece of humble pie I called her back and sincerely asked her what I needed to do to make her feel better.  Crying again she explained to me that although I see her and her children everyday she still felt that I didn't listen, not to what she said but what she didn't say.  She was right!  One of my Health class teachers once told us that Silence can sometimes be the loudest sounds there is.  I felt awful.  I was so busy helping her with her children, taking her on errands etc. that I didn't see she was feeling overwhelmed, lonely, and stressed.  So I sat, didn't say anything and just listened.  She cried and talked to me and told me her hopes, fears, and anxieties.  Sometimes we as people get so consumed with helping others accomplish things that we don't stop and really look at what is in front of us or listen to the silence.  It's wonderful to be a great friend and neighbour, and, to give help unconditionally.  However, when someone from our own family is hurting and crying inside and we are so busy helping everyone else that we don't see their need; well that's  a heartache.  Luckily, my daughter and I resolved our issue, but there are other people hurting right now that need someone to see them and hear them.  Let's make a pact with our families to always be honest with one another and to take time to listen for the silence.