Longer Than A Kardashian Marriage

     I was so tired last night, all I wanted was to fall in my bed and sleep.  Unfortunately, that was not to be, I spent more time in my bathroom, sitting on the toilet, hanging my head in the garbage pail.  The pail was there more to keep me from falling over than anything else.  It was surprisingly comfortable, my head fit against the brim perfectly, kind of like an old hat.
     After a considerable amount of time purging everything from my body, I crawled back into bed.  The flannel sheets were warm and cozy, my comforter was, well...comforting.  I could feel myself falling into that far away place between sleep and awake.  You know the place, it's where you can fly without wings.  I love visiting there.
     I was just beginning to enjoy my sleep nirvana, when I was awakened.  Not by another trip to the bathroom, but my husband walking in the room.  He was talking, I began to panic.  If I engaged him with even a grunt, I would never get back to that wonderful place.  I laid there, silent, willing my bowels to relax.  For once, they did.
     My husband crawled into bed, and immediately began pulling the sheet and comforter over his way.   I am always hot, so I don't care, but these past few days, I have been cold, so giving up my side of the blankets was a no go.  I knew if I pulled some of the blankets my way, my husband would know I was awake, and then it would be blah, blah, blah.  I tried to pretend I wasn't cold, but it wasn't working, I was freezing.  I gently pulled the blankets my way, too late, my husband felt the tug, and I heard "Oh, you're awake."  blah, blah, blah... He was talking about work, he asked me how I was feeling, so I just grunted.  He told me I need to keep my nutrition up, "Diet and exercise baby, that's the key."
     I rolled over, "sshhhing" him, but my husband proceeded to question me.  "Have you eaten anything?  Are you drinking?  You need to get feeling better, we don't have time for the flu."  My husband, God bless him, has an imaginary schedule that can never be deviated from.  "Uugghhh!  Stop talking, I want to go back to sleep!"  I hissed at him.  He apologized, and curled up beside me, draping his arm around me.  Normally, this would be comforting, but not last night.  I felt like I was being suffocated.  My husband, began to snore softly.
     I laid there, eyes wide open, listening to my husband's breathing.   I heard my son run down the stairs and into the bathroom.  Guess he was still suffering from the flu too.  Of course, over the past few days, my son and I have been in perfect sync.  When he goes, I need to, when I go, he needs to.  So, true to course, because he was in the bathroom, I needed to...go.
     Back to the throne I sat, with my head in the pail...again.  I thought, maybe I can design a pillow for my pail.        
    It's day number 5 for this flu, and I sit, not, on a comfortable chair, but on my toilet, my head, lays not on my pillow, but hanging in my garbage pail.  At this rate, it's going to last longer than a Kardashian marriage.




   

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