Pee-gatory
I should have gone pee this morning when I first felt the tingle, but, like usual, I decided I could wait. Big, huge, epic mistake.
I drove my granddaughter to school, and as I opened up her door to unbuckle her car seat, the icy air made my bladder convulse. "Ooh la la! Grandma needs to pee!" My grandaughter said "Grandma, you should have gone before we left!" Huh, I wonder where she heard that before. She then informed me that I was welcome to use the washroom in her class. I was desperate so I agreed. As we walked through the school doors, there were almost one hundred, four and five year olds sitting cross legged on four lines on the floor. I was having a hard enough time walking without being impeded by all these children wiggling all over. My bladder was in overdrive, without adding to the mix, I had to tip toe around children, backpacks, and snow pants. It was a challenge, especially with this miniature brood, all with cherub faces. They looked adorable and innocent, but I knew the truth, they were a pack of uncivilized bruites looking for weakness.
My granddaughter's class was the last room on the right, and I made it through unscathed, I was hopeful. My granddaughter directed me to the class washroom, and as I turned on the lights, I couldn't help but notice the toilet that was about twelve inches from the floor. "Oh my, I was considering reconsidering this particular washroom, but my bladder began an immediate revolt, so I reconsidered my reconsideration. "Okay, this will have to work." I sat down, and couldn't feel anything, so I bent lower, "Hmmm those squats have really paid off! Oh, yea, they weren't part of my exercise repotroie, no wonder my thighs are burning. I finally reached the seat, and for a few seconds, as my bladder began to relax, the door flew open. In front of me stood a little boy with a startled expression, but I am sure I was even more shocked. He was bouncing around, holding his pants, he had to go. He turned tail and left, but I heard him tell his teacher there was a big stupid lady sitting in the washroom, and she doesn't have a washroom pass! "Oh oh, I was caught, pants down, contorted to fit a tiny toilet, with no washroom pass. I could hear the teacher walking towards me, there was no lock inside this water closet, and the door knob was waaay up there, out of my reach.
Once more, the door flung open, but this time I was face to face with my granddaughter's Kindergarten teacher. I tried to smile and say "good morning." non chalantly, but I came across as a grimacing lunatic. My granddaughter came running over and explained that I had to pee, but there I was, sitting on a toilet mere inches from the floor, my legs cramped, and my arms trying desperately to find a place to rest. I had three pairs of eyes looking at me, and my bladder suddenly became shy.
My granddaughter's teacher, sharing my mortification, quickly closed the door and rushed the little boy to another nearby washroom down the hall.
I was alone again, but my bladder still was in shut down mode. "Oh come on! A minute ago you were content to let it run down my legs!" I finally convinced it to let go, but then I had to apologize to my knees for putting them in such a horrible position. I managed to stand up and get my pants up, but then I had to squat again to wash my hands. My knees were going to complain for the rest of the day, after all of this abuse.
As I opened the door, I hoped I could escape without anyone saying a word to me, that was a no go, both of my granddaughter's teachers were waiting for me when I came out. I felt like I was a kid again, going to the principles office. They apologized profusely for walking in on me in such a vulnerable condition. "Well, you've seen me at my worst, I've got no place to go but up."
I kissed my granddaughter goodbye, and I was on my way. I really should take my granddaughter's advice.
I drove my granddaughter to school, and as I opened up her door to unbuckle her car seat, the icy air made my bladder convulse. "Ooh la la! Grandma needs to pee!" My grandaughter said "Grandma, you should have gone before we left!" Huh, I wonder where she heard that before. She then informed me that I was welcome to use the washroom in her class. I was desperate so I agreed. As we walked through the school doors, there were almost one hundred, four and five year olds sitting cross legged on four lines on the floor. I was having a hard enough time walking without being impeded by all these children wiggling all over. My bladder was in overdrive, without adding to the mix, I had to tip toe around children, backpacks, and snow pants. It was a challenge, especially with this miniature brood, all with cherub faces. They looked adorable and innocent, but I knew the truth, they were a pack of uncivilized bruites looking for weakness.
My granddaughter's class was the last room on the right, and I made it through unscathed, I was hopeful. My granddaughter directed me to the class washroom, and as I turned on the lights, I couldn't help but notice the toilet that was about twelve inches from the floor. "Oh my, I was considering reconsidering this particular washroom, but my bladder began an immediate revolt, so I reconsidered my reconsideration. "Okay, this will have to work." I sat down, and couldn't feel anything, so I bent lower, "Hmmm those squats have really paid off! Oh, yea, they weren't part of my exercise repotroie, no wonder my thighs are burning. I finally reached the seat, and for a few seconds, as my bladder began to relax, the door flew open. In front of me stood a little boy with a startled expression, but I am sure I was even more shocked. He was bouncing around, holding his pants, he had to go. He turned tail and left, but I heard him tell his teacher there was a big stupid lady sitting in the washroom, and she doesn't have a washroom pass! "Oh oh, I was caught, pants down, contorted to fit a tiny toilet, with no washroom pass. I could hear the teacher walking towards me, there was no lock inside this water closet, and the door knob was waaay up there, out of my reach.
Once more, the door flung open, but this time I was face to face with my granddaughter's Kindergarten teacher. I tried to smile and say "good morning." non chalantly, but I came across as a grimacing lunatic. My granddaughter came running over and explained that I had to pee, but there I was, sitting on a toilet mere inches from the floor, my legs cramped, and my arms trying desperately to find a place to rest. I had three pairs of eyes looking at me, and my bladder suddenly became shy.
My granddaughter's teacher, sharing my mortification, quickly closed the door and rushed the little boy to another nearby washroom down the hall.
I was alone again, but my bladder still was in shut down mode. "Oh come on! A minute ago you were content to let it run down my legs!" I finally convinced it to let go, but then I had to apologize to my knees for putting them in such a horrible position. I managed to stand up and get my pants up, but then I had to squat again to wash my hands. My knees were going to complain for the rest of the day, after all of this abuse.
As I opened the door, I hoped I could escape without anyone saying a word to me, that was a no go, both of my granddaughter's teachers were waiting for me when I came out. I felt like I was a kid again, going to the principles office. They apologized profusely for walking in on me in such a vulnerable condition. "Well, you've seen me at my worst, I've got no place to go but up."
I kissed my granddaughter goodbye, and I was on my way. I really should take my granddaughter's advice.
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