Rocking The Love Boat!
Well, once again I had to drive to the passport office to show them my newly acquired marriage certificate, in hopes of expediting my passport for our New Years cruise.
My friend Shelley, accompanied me today, to keep me sane. When my number was up on the monitor, I approached the woman behind the counter. She didn't have much of a personality one way or another. Not unpleasant, but not pleasant either, robotic, comes to mind actually. As I pulled out my two horrendous passport photos, birth certificate, drivers license, and finally my marriage certificate, this government worker, arranged them on her desk and began filling out the paperwork.
She asked me when I was travelling so I told her, she explained that I would need to pay an extra fifty dollars to expedite the passport ASAP. I said "Yes, definitely." After a brief conversation, she told me my passport would hopefully be in their office by December 28, one day before we leave! Oh boy, I was beginning to feel my cheeks get hot! I could feel myself beginning to lose control.
"The 28?" I asked incredulously. "Yes, December 28. We are open from 8:30-4:30, you can pick it up between these hours." I was not accepting this answer. "I was told two weeks ago, I could pay the extra money and get it in two days! Where's that option?" My voice was becoming shrill, I could hear it. I'm sure Shelley could too. She said calmly, "It will make it on time, don't worry about it." I looked in her eyes, and could feel myself beginning to calm down. However, my government employee wasn't content with my blood pressure lowering, oh no, she had to add her comment. "There's no guarantee, we say 10 days, but it is government..."
"What?! The lady I spoke to two weeks ago said I could get it in two days! She guaranteed an emergency passport for me!" There was no look of sympathy, in fact, there was no look at all. She continued to stamp my papers and spoke in her annoying monotone voice. "We don't offer that." " So", I asked, "I have to pay an additional fifty dollars to have my passport expedited, which may or may not be ready for December 28? Well then what am I paying an extra fifty dollars for?" I could hear my voice again, raising three more octaves. Why oh why can't she just lie to me? God bless Shelley, she once again talked me off the hysterical ledge again. "You are paying extra to make sure it doesn't take the full ten days in the mail, which may or may not arrive in time."
"Okay, are all government employees trained to speak in legal-ease rederick?" I paid the extra fifty dollars to expedite my passport, which may or may not be at the passport office by December 28. Why? I don't know. So, at this point, I still don't know if I am going on my anniversary cruise.
I came home, flustered, and told my husband. He told me I should have paid the extra for the two day pick up. I agreed, but I explained that option wasn't available. He looked at me like I was pathetic. I read that look in his eyes, the same look that is reserved for funerals. Awesome, even he doesn't think I'm going! "Well, we can't cancel now, it's too late for that, I guess I'll be taking Dwyane from work! He can get the time off. Hmmm...well it is the Love Boat, and it is the new Millennium. However, nobody is going to get jiggy with my husband on the Love Boat but me!
The countdown is on, my passport may or may not be here on December 28, I may or may not be going on the Love Boat with my husband. Time will tell.
My friend Shelley, accompanied me today, to keep me sane. When my number was up on the monitor, I approached the woman behind the counter. She didn't have much of a personality one way or another. Not unpleasant, but not pleasant either, robotic, comes to mind actually. As I pulled out my two horrendous passport photos, birth certificate, drivers license, and finally my marriage certificate, this government worker, arranged them on her desk and began filling out the paperwork.
She asked me when I was travelling so I told her, she explained that I would need to pay an extra fifty dollars to expedite the passport ASAP. I said "Yes, definitely." After a brief conversation, she told me my passport would hopefully be in their office by December 28, one day before we leave! Oh boy, I was beginning to feel my cheeks get hot! I could feel myself beginning to lose control.
"The 28?" I asked incredulously. "Yes, December 28. We are open from 8:30-4:30, you can pick it up between these hours." I was not accepting this answer. "I was told two weeks ago, I could pay the extra money and get it in two days! Where's that option?" My voice was becoming shrill, I could hear it. I'm sure Shelley could too. She said calmly, "It will make it on time, don't worry about it." I looked in her eyes, and could feel myself beginning to calm down. However, my government employee wasn't content with my blood pressure lowering, oh no, she had to add her comment. "There's no guarantee, we say 10 days, but it is government..."
"What?! The lady I spoke to two weeks ago said I could get it in two days! She guaranteed an emergency passport for me!" There was no look of sympathy, in fact, there was no look at all. She continued to stamp my papers and spoke in her annoying monotone voice. "We don't offer that." " So", I asked, "I have to pay an additional fifty dollars to have my passport expedited, which may or may not be ready for December 28? Well then what am I paying an extra fifty dollars for?" I could hear my voice again, raising three more octaves. Why oh why can't she just lie to me? God bless Shelley, she once again talked me off the hysterical ledge again. "You are paying extra to make sure it doesn't take the full ten days in the mail, which may or may not arrive in time."
"Okay, are all government employees trained to speak in legal-ease rederick?" I paid the extra fifty dollars to expedite my passport, which may or may not be at the passport office by December 28. Why? I don't know. So, at this point, I still don't know if I am going on my anniversary cruise.
I came home, flustered, and told my husband. He told me I should have paid the extra for the two day pick up. I agreed, but I explained that option wasn't available. He looked at me like I was pathetic. I read that look in his eyes, the same look that is reserved for funerals. Awesome, even he doesn't think I'm going! "Well, we can't cancel now, it's too late for that, I guess I'll be taking Dwyane from work! He can get the time off. Hmmm...well it is the Love Boat, and it is the new Millennium. However, nobody is going to get jiggy with my husband on the Love Boat but me!
The countdown is on, my passport may or may not be here on December 28, I may or may not be going on the Love Boat with my husband. Time will tell.
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