Finding Joy in the Pain
While standing in line at the grocery store, I overheard 2 men talking. It's hard not to hear conversations when there are 8 people cramped in a 5 square foot area. So, waiting for my turn to place my wares onto the conveyor belt, I couldn't help but listen to the conversation being held not 6 inches behind me.
There were 2 men talking behind me, and one of these men and his wife had just welcomed a new baby into their family. He was obviously a proud new father, everyone around him could hear him gushing about his tiny bundle of joy. He told all of the pertinent information such as the childs weight, length and the time he was born.
His friend asked him what he thought of the whole birth experience and, without skipping a beat he said "Piece of cake". His friend, sounded surprised by this statement and asked his friend how long his wife's labour was. Again, without hesitating, he told his buddy it was 26 hours long. She laboured at home for 18 hours, and she had allowed him to sleep for 9 of those hours. By the time they arrived at the hospital she was 7 cm dilated.
Having experienced childbirth twice myself, and helping my daughter labour with her children, I remember that at 7cm, a woman is going through the transition phase of labour. This is the most intense and most painful part. This is the point where a lovely, sweet woman can turn into Reagan from The Exorcist! A person helping a labouring woman at this time is wise to stay quiet, and do what she asks.
I did the math, he said her labour was 26 hours long, 18 at home, so that meant Oh my sweet Lord, she was in this brutal phase of labour for 8 more hours! My heart went out to her. His friend obviously did the math as well and asked "She must have had the epidural then"? "No, she did it all natural" was the new fathers reply. Then, he said something that made me turn around and see if his head was still fully intact, and when I did, I saw his friend looking stunned. He laughed when he said it, which made it worse. "She was whining about the pain, but I told her that is what a woman's body was designed for".
He noticed I had turned around and I must have been glaring at him because he said "What"? I assured him that although a woman's body was created to be pregnant, go through morning sickness (in my case, all day sickness), a belly that just keeps growing, sore breasts, a bladder that is squished and consequently has to be emptied 20 hours of a 24 hour day, not being able to sleep because you can't get comfortable, not to mention a whirlwind of emotions thanks to ever changing hormones, and then having to go through labour, it was still very difficult! I let him have it, for his wife, and every other woman out there who didn't have the support they needed during this time. "It's called labour for a reason! It's hard work!" I told him if his wife went through 8 hours of hard labour naturally to dilate 3 more cm, she WAS in pain and she wasn't whining! By this time, the 2 cashiers in listening range piped in and told him the same thing! Men in our vicinity gave him sympathetic looks and shook their heads. One older man chuckled and told him he better buy his wife some flowers because he could sense a public flogging was iminent.
It was my turn to put my groceries up and the new father, duly chastised left the line to look at flowers.
The cashier and I greeted each other and we discussed the events of the past 5 minutes. I apologized for creating a scene but I was so shocked at what I heard I felt I had to defend his wife who wasn't even there.
I gathered my groceries and looked back to see the man who was so arrogant a few minutes ago looking unsure as he put his few things and a sick looking bouquet of carnations on the belt. The cashier shook her head and grunted "Uh uh, no way, you go back and get her the package of the pink roses, the long stemmed ones" and she pointed to the flower cooler. He put his head down and walked to the cooler obeying the cashiers commands.
I don't know what that guy said to his wife when he returned home, maybe nothing, maybe lots but I do know he left that grocery store with much more appreciation of what his wife experienced to bring their son into the world.
Labour and childbirth is hard, not to mention women recovering from "C Sections".
I think I can speak for most mothers when I say "Bringing children into this world was definately the worst pain I have ever experienced, but also brought me the greatest joy as well".
.Let's be realistic, labour pain is just a warm up for the real pain...teenagers!
There were 2 men talking behind me, and one of these men and his wife had just welcomed a new baby into their family. He was obviously a proud new father, everyone around him could hear him gushing about his tiny bundle of joy. He told all of the pertinent information such as the childs weight, length and the time he was born.
His friend asked him what he thought of the whole birth experience and, without skipping a beat he said "Piece of cake". His friend, sounded surprised by this statement and asked his friend how long his wife's labour was. Again, without hesitating, he told his buddy it was 26 hours long. She laboured at home for 18 hours, and she had allowed him to sleep for 9 of those hours. By the time they arrived at the hospital she was 7 cm dilated.
Having experienced childbirth twice myself, and helping my daughter labour with her children, I remember that at 7cm, a woman is going through the transition phase of labour. This is the most intense and most painful part. This is the point where a lovely, sweet woman can turn into Reagan from The Exorcist! A person helping a labouring woman at this time is wise to stay quiet, and do what she asks.
I did the math, he said her labour was 26 hours long, 18 at home, so that meant Oh my sweet Lord, she was in this brutal phase of labour for 8 more hours! My heart went out to her. His friend obviously did the math as well and asked "She must have had the epidural then"? "No, she did it all natural" was the new fathers reply. Then, he said something that made me turn around and see if his head was still fully intact, and when I did, I saw his friend looking stunned. He laughed when he said it, which made it worse. "She was whining about the pain, but I told her that is what a woman's body was designed for".
He noticed I had turned around and I must have been glaring at him because he said "What"? I assured him that although a woman's body was created to be pregnant, go through morning sickness (in my case, all day sickness), a belly that just keeps growing, sore breasts, a bladder that is squished and consequently has to be emptied 20 hours of a 24 hour day, not being able to sleep because you can't get comfortable, not to mention a whirlwind of emotions thanks to ever changing hormones, and then having to go through labour, it was still very difficult! I let him have it, for his wife, and every other woman out there who didn't have the support they needed during this time. "It's called labour for a reason! It's hard work!" I told him if his wife went through 8 hours of hard labour naturally to dilate 3 more cm, she WAS in pain and she wasn't whining! By this time, the 2 cashiers in listening range piped in and told him the same thing! Men in our vicinity gave him sympathetic looks and shook their heads. One older man chuckled and told him he better buy his wife some flowers because he could sense a public flogging was iminent.
It was my turn to put my groceries up and the new father, duly chastised left the line to look at flowers.
The cashier and I greeted each other and we discussed the events of the past 5 minutes. I apologized for creating a scene but I was so shocked at what I heard I felt I had to defend his wife who wasn't even there.
I gathered my groceries and looked back to see the man who was so arrogant a few minutes ago looking unsure as he put his few things and a sick looking bouquet of carnations on the belt. The cashier shook her head and grunted "Uh uh, no way, you go back and get her the package of the pink roses, the long stemmed ones" and she pointed to the flower cooler. He put his head down and walked to the cooler obeying the cashiers commands.
I don't know what that guy said to his wife when he returned home, maybe nothing, maybe lots but I do know he left that grocery store with much more appreciation of what his wife experienced to bring their son into the world.
Labour and childbirth is hard, not to mention women recovering from "C Sections".
I think I can speak for most mothers when I say "Bringing children into this world was definately the worst pain I have ever experienced, but also brought me the greatest joy as well".
.Let's be realistic, labour pain is just a warm up for the real pain...teenagers!
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