Grocery Gaffs

   
     I was picking up a few groceries yesterday, not a lot, a loaf of bread, milk, and butter.  However, when I only intend on buying a few things, I seem to find really good deals, so consequently I buy more than I started out to.
     As I walked up and down the aisles, I noticed the store was totally rearranged. Groaning, I slowly walked up and down the aisles looking for the items on my list.  I wasn't the only disgruntled shopper, I could see and hear others mumbling to themselves about not being able to find anything.
     Thankfully,  the produce and meat aisles were the same, but the canned and dry goods were totally displaced.  While meandering up and down each grocery aisle, I found items that I decided I needed in my cart.  By the time I made it to the dairy department, my cart was full, so I made my way to the cashier to pay.
     I had put half of my groceries onto the conveyor belt when the cashier said to me "I'm closed".  "Closed"?  I asked.  "But your light is still on".  She was ignoring me, so I continued placing my groceries on the belt.  The cashier, was clearly frustrated with me because she repeated she was closed once again.  I kept filling the belt, as the customer ahead of me paid and began bagging her wares.  The cashier told me to put my groceries back in my cart and go to another cashier.  I stopped, and looked at her.  "My groceries are up here now, so you might as well ring me through".  "I'm closed" was all she would say.  I reminded her that I had already had half of my groceries on the belt before she told me she was closed, plus she still had her light on.  That is a non verbal grocery agreement...right?
     It seems we had a stalemate.   She hadn't picked up any of my groceries and began to scan, and I hadn't put them back into my cart.  "Look" I said, "It's only going to take 5 minutes to ring me through,  so let's just do this and you can go".  Rolling her eyes she begrudgingly picked up my first item and scanned it.  Awesome I thought.  I started to bag everything up and place the bags in the cart.  Everything was going along splendidly.
     She tallied it up and told me how much I had to pay.  I only had a $20.00 bill on me, so I had to pay with debit.  I opened up my wallet to get my bank card.  I looked in the usual place but it wasn't there.  I looked behind my other cards, points cards, my coffee card, my license, it wasn't there.  Smiling, I said "Sorry, it must have fallen into my purse".  I began pulling things out of my purse and placing them on the belt.  Lipstick, car keys, hand cream,  my grandson's soother...I looked up at the cashier and she had her arms folded across her chest, sucking her cheeks in.  She looked like she had just sucked a lemon.  "I'm really sorry about this" I said apologizing.   I continued to pull more things out of my purse, Walmart receipts, another lipstick, my granddaughter's bracelet, a used kleenex,  I stuck that in my pocket.   NO bank card!   For whatever reason, I began to laugh.   Not just a little giggle, I mean a great big, body shaking, snorting, belly laugh!  I couldn't help it.  I could see the the displeasure on the cashiers face through my tears.
     "Do you have it or not"?  She asked me.   "Not"!  I snorted.  I pulled that kleenex out of my pocket to wipe my face.  "I'm really sorry, but you will have to void everything"!  She didn't find it nearly as amusing as I did.  I began hauling things out of the bags as she began voiding them.  She was muttering under her breath about stupid people, which sent me into another fit of laughter.  She finished voiding everything, when I said "Hey, I have $20.00"!  Ring the bread, milk, and butter through".  She demanded I show her the money first, which I did.  I bagged up my few groceries for the second time.  I went to put the kleenex in my pocket, and when I did, I found my bank card.  "Hey" I said excitedly, waving that little piece of plastic in the air.  "Look what I found "!
     With that, she turned off her light and said "I'm closed "!  Some people, they have NO sense of humour!