Walking in a Wedding Wonderland
My husband and I were at a wedding this past weekend. The bride was beautiful, her dress, esquisite. The groom looked handsome and was attentive to his new bride. The reception was over the top, from the posh venue, the 7 course meal and the open bar. Let me say, the booze was flowing, and the inhibitions were disappearing.
During dinner, in between the different courses being served, I took a long look around, at the decor, the wait staff, bridal party and the guests. Everyone was busy, whether working, laughing or chatting to the person sitting beside them. All outward appearances reflected a festive, celebration. It was definitely a party and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.
However, in spite of all the pageantry and festivities, I felt something wasn't quite ...right. It wasn't love, everyone could see the young couple were crazy for each other. Both sets of parents were beaming with pride and love for their children, that was noticible as well. The guests were spoiled, with an attentive wait staff, and a knowledgeable and creative bartender, creating any type of cocktail you desired. The room was decorated in beautiful shades of emerald green, royal blue and royal purple, in keeping with the peacock inspired theme. There was music, softly playing in the background during dinner, it wasn't what I saw that bothered me, It was what I didn't see, or felt for that matter.
Although, beautiful, this wedding lacked the warmth and reverence I have seen and felt in the past. I don't mean tradition. I have been to a few small, non traditional weddings, but I have always felt a mutual respect for the institution of marriage. I didn't this past weekend. This is not the first time I have felt, or rather not felt this at a wedding.
Tradition aside, a wedding is supposed to unite a man and a woman together in holy wedlock. It's an agreement between a bride and groom, entered into in front of their family, friends and God, so that everyone knows this is a choice they have made of their own free will.
This beautiful, expensive, over the top wedding was just that- beautiful, expensive, and over the top. However, to me, there was a lack of honour for marriage itself. The vows, the commitment, compromise, the whole thing.
Weddings have become something to sell, with, wedding shows, bridal salons filled with expensive dresses, venues vying for the couples big day, offering a bigger and better experience than the other guys. All of this leaves the young couples head spinning.
Unfortunately, today, all of the emphasis is placed on the wedding and not on the marriage. What about after the "I do's" are over, the party all wrapped up and all the guests have gone home? What happens when it's just the two of them, day in and day out, facing their mundane, everyday life?
This morning, while getting online, the first add I saw was for a wedding show. Its logo was Get more from your marketing dollars! The ad was encouraging vendors to Book Now! Weddings are big business!
In all seriousness, it's the marriage that everyone is there for, to congratulate the happy couple and help celebrate their union.
Marriage is difficult. Anyone who is married can attest to that fact. Trying to meld two different personalities together, in peaceful coexistence isn't always easy. After a while, the everyday drudgery of working, paying bills, cooking, cleaning and laundry becomes reality, and if the new couple isn't really in tuned with one another, trouble wont be far behind.
It's the moments we cherish, the in between times, after or before going to work, eating together, talking, laughing, if you are lucky, doing chores together that make a happy successful marriage. It's knowing you can depend on your spouse for emotional, physical and yes, financial support too. Just being there for each other.
A wedding is only the beginning, it shouldn't be the everything. I think too many young couples get caught up in the wedding propaganda and forget why they are getting married in the first place.
As I left the wedding on Saturday night, it was late and I was tired. The new couple were posing for pictures. Flashes were going off and the happy couple were smiling. When the wedding paparazzi were finished, the smiles disappeared, replaced by exhaustion. I overheard the bride say she was so tired, she just wanted to go to sleep. I knew she still had a few hours to go before she could close her eyes and sleep. There was no bliss, or excitement for the wedding night. Only exhaustion.
I remembered the poem by Robert Frost, Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening. The last stanza in the poem actually.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
During dinner, in between the different courses being served, I took a long look around, at the decor, the wait staff, bridal party and the guests. Everyone was busy, whether working, laughing or chatting to the person sitting beside them. All outward appearances reflected a festive, celebration. It was definitely a party and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.
However, in spite of all the pageantry and festivities, I felt something wasn't quite ...right. It wasn't love, everyone could see the young couple were crazy for each other. Both sets of parents were beaming with pride and love for their children, that was noticible as well. The guests were spoiled, with an attentive wait staff, and a knowledgeable and creative bartender, creating any type of cocktail you desired. The room was decorated in beautiful shades of emerald green, royal blue and royal purple, in keeping with the peacock inspired theme. There was music, softly playing in the background during dinner, it wasn't what I saw that bothered me, It was what I didn't see, or felt for that matter.
Although, beautiful, this wedding lacked the warmth and reverence I have seen and felt in the past. I don't mean tradition. I have been to a few small, non traditional weddings, but I have always felt a mutual respect for the institution of marriage. I didn't this past weekend. This is not the first time I have felt, or rather not felt this at a wedding.
Tradition aside, a wedding is supposed to unite a man and a woman together in holy wedlock. It's an agreement between a bride and groom, entered into in front of their family, friends and God, so that everyone knows this is a choice they have made of their own free will.
This beautiful, expensive, over the top wedding was just that- beautiful, expensive, and over the top. However, to me, there was a lack of honour for marriage itself. The vows, the commitment, compromise, the whole thing.
Weddings have become something to sell, with, wedding shows, bridal salons filled with expensive dresses, venues vying for the couples big day, offering a bigger and better experience than the other guys. All of this leaves the young couples head spinning.
Unfortunately, today, all of the emphasis is placed on the wedding and not on the marriage. What about after the "I do's" are over, the party all wrapped up and all the guests have gone home? What happens when it's just the two of them, day in and day out, facing their mundane, everyday life?
This morning, while getting online, the first add I saw was for a wedding show. Its logo was Get more from your marketing dollars! The ad was encouraging vendors to Book Now! Weddings are big business!
In all seriousness, it's the marriage that everyone is there for, to congratulate the happy couple and help celebrate their union.
Marriage is difficult. Anyone who is married can attest to that fact. Trying to meld two different personalities together, in peaceful coexistence isn't always easy. After a while, the everyday drudgery of working, paying bills, cooking, cleaning and laundry becomes reality, and if the new couple isn't really in tuned with one another, trouble wont be far behind.
It's the moments we cherish, the in between times, after or before going to work, eating together, talking, laughing, if you are lucky, doing chores together that make a happy successful marriage. It's knowing you can depend on your spouse for emotional, physical and yes, financial support too. Just being there for each other.
A wedding is only the beginning, it shouldn't be the everything. I think too many young couples get caught up in the wedding propaganda and forget why they are getting married in the first place.
As I left the wedding on Saturday night, it was late and I was tired. The new couple were posing for pictures. Flashes were going off and the happy couple were smiling. When the wedding paparazzi were finished, the smiles disappeared, replaced by exhaustion. I overheard the bride say she was so tired, she just wanted to go to sleep. I knew she still had a few hours to go before she could close her eyes and sleep. There was no bliss, or excitement for the wedding night. Only exhaustion.
I remembered the poem by Robert Frost, Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening. The last stanza in the poem actually.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
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