That Bitch Of An Itch!
My skin has always been sensitive. It doesn't take much to throw it into a tizzy. I have to be careful with laundry soap, bath products, lotions, anything that comes into contact with my skin. Heck, plain water from a shower or a bath causes big, red, itchy, angry hives all over my body So, when I find something that doesn't bother my skin, that is all I use.
In the past, I have had some very bad bouts of dry, itchy skin. I tried everything! Medicated ointment from the doctor was useless, I poured on extra-virgin olive oil once because someone told me it wold be my saving grace. It just made me slippery and every time I walked, I left a slime trail, like a snail. I even tried tomato paste, I rubbed it all over my skin, to soothe the itch and modify my skins PH level. It didn't work either, it only made a mess and, I craved pizza all day. Any wives tail, I tried, but, to no avail.
A few years ago, while I was managing a hair salon, I was working 50 hours a week, I was stressed and itchy. My husband and I had been doing some renovations in our home. I came home from work, and saw some 80 grit sandpaper sitting on my mantle. I picked it up to move it, when the phone rang. As I was talking, I didn't realize I had been scratching my arm with the sandpaper. Let me tell you, it felt so gooood! I hung up, and went to work. Anywhere I was itchy, I sandpapered. It was great! I couldn't reach my back, so I grabed some duct tape and attached the sandpaper to a long spatula and scratched my back. My eyes, rolled back into my head, my knees went weak, it felt so good to finally scratch that incessant itch. By the time I was finished, I had deposited more skin cells and DNA all over my house in 20 minutes than I had in 40 years. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was bright red, and I had what felt like a very bad sun burn. It hurt, but at least there was no more itch! My husband was mortified, and locked up anything sharp, even the kitchen forks were hidden. Forks! I had never thought of them!
Lately, because of the furnace being turned on, my skin is once again flaring up. The past few days, I have been going crazy. Rubbing up against anything that may give me some relief, Yesterday, standing in line at the grocery store, there was a man behind me with a couple days growth of whiskers on his face. It was all I could do to not ask him to give me a whisker rub...all over my back. I didn't, but I did fantasize about it.
As I crawled into bed last night, I consulted Dr. Google. I typed in itching skin. A whole slew of dreaded diseases came up, all of them involving itching skin. Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Morgellon, where teeny tiny parasites dig into your skin, yikes, I hope it's not either of them! Listeria, Hysteria, Lichens Syndrome, wait, aren't Lichens half ware wolf, part human? Oh my word, things were looking worse with every disease.
I decided I should search my symptoms instead. Turns out, eczema is probably the most likely culprit. It's definition, is pretty general, not to mention vague. Eczema is defined as: A medical condition in which patches of skin become rough and inflamed, with blisters that cause intense itching, and bleeding, sometimes resulting from a reaction to an irritation, but typically having no obvious external cause. Yea, no kidding Sherlock! If I had given a definition like that on an exam in school, I would have failed. How can that even be allowed to qualify as a reasonable definition? I'm absolutely no further ahead than before.
I turned off my phone, and grabbed my trusty back scratcher. It's my best friend these days. I scratched, and scratched, with little choruses of "Oh!" and "Yes, that's good! Right there!" It sounded like a blue movie going on in my bedroom! It wasn't, but I was left feeling just as satisfied!
Cold weather is coming, that means sweaters, coats, hats and mits, and itching. When my husband leaves for work, I am going to the garage, and search for sandpaper!
My new best friend, my back scratcher!
In the past, I have had some very bad bouts of dry, itchy skin. I tried everything! Medicated ointment from the doctor was useless, I poured on extra-virgin olive oil once because someone told me it wold be my saving grace. It just made me slippery and every time I walked, I left a slime trail, like a snail. I even tried tomato paste, I rubbed it all over my skin, to soothe the itch and modify my skins PH level. It didn't work either, it only made a mess and, I craved pizza all day. Any wives tail, I tried, but, to no avail.
A few years ago, while I was managing a hair salon, I was working 50 hours a week, I was stressed and itchy. My husband and I had been doing some renovations in our home. I came home from work, and saw some 80 grit sandpaper sitting on my mantle. I picked it up to move it, when the phone rang. As I was talking, I didn't realize I had been scratching my arm with the sandpaper. Let me tell you, it felt so gooood! I hung up, and went to work. Anywhere I was itchy, I sandpapered. It was great! I couldn't reach my back, so I grabed some duct tape and attached the sandpaper to a long spatula and scratched my back. My eyes, rolled back into my head, my knees went weak, it felt so good to finally scratch that incessant itch. By the time I was finished, I had deposited more skin cells and DNA all over my house in 20 minutes than I had in 40 years. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was bright red, and I had what felt like a very bad sun burn. It hurt, but at least there was no more itch! My husband was mortified, and locked up anything sharp, even the kitchen forks were hidden. Forks! I had never thought of them!
Lately, because of the furnace being turned on, my skin is once again flaring up. The past few days, I have been going crazy. Rubbing up against anything that may give me some relief, Yesterday, standing in line at the grocery store, there was a man behind me with a couple days growth of whiskers on his face. It was all I could do to not ask him to give me a whisker rub...all over my back. I didn't, but I did fantasize about it.
As I crawled into bed last night, I consulted Dr. Google. I typed in itching skin. A whole slew of dreaded diseases came up, all of them involving itching skin. Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Morgellon, where teeny tiny parasites dig into your skin, yikes, I hope it's not either of them! Listeria, Hysteria, Lichens Syndrome, wait, aren't Lichens half ware wolf, part human? Oh my word, things were looking worse with every disease.
I decided I should search my symptoms instead. Turns out, eczema is probably the most likely culprit. It's definition, is pretty general, not to mention vague. Eczema is defined as: A medical condition in which patches of skin become rough and inflamed, with blisters that cause intense itching, and bleeding, sometimes resulting from a reaction to an irritation, but typically having no obvious external cause. Yea, no kidding Sherlock! If I had given a definition like that on an exam in school, I would have failed. How can that even be allowed to qualify as a reasonable definition? I'm absolutely no further ahead than before.
I turned off my phone, and grabbed my trusty back scratcher. It's my best friend these days. I scratched, and scratched, with little choruses of "Oh!" and "Yes, that's good! Right there!" It sounded like a blue movie going on in my bedroom! It wasn't, but I was left feeling just as satisfied!
Cold weather is coming, that means sweaters, coats, hats and mits, and itching. When my husband leaves for work, I am going to the garage, and search for sandpaper!
My new best friend, my back scratcher!
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