My Ta Ta Faux Pas!
I believe Madonna made wearing lingerie, instead of clothes, popular in the early '90's, thanks to her Blonde Ambition Tour. Teens, and young women, alike, bought up sexy under garments to imitate the vogue icon.
Thankfully, that fad faded, as quickly as it began. I, have never been one to follow fashion, for the sake of fashion. I take the more classic approach. Classic, simple styles, are never out of fashion.
As I walked to the grocery store yesterday, I wore my black leather jacket. It has clean lines, and it blocks the wind. I chose to accent my jacket, not with a scarf, or even a matching hand bag. No, I chose to accessorise with a lovely pomegranate, floral bra.
Unbeknownst to me, my freshly washed bra, had somehow become attached to the back of my jacket. I was in a hurry, so I threw on my jacket, grabbed my purse, and out the door I went.
I walked around the grocery store, checking out the specials, walking up and down all of the aisles. I noticed some strange looks, so I immediately became self conscious. Automatically, my hand went to my hair, smoothing it down.
As I continued up the aisles, I could see people looking at me as well as hear some stifled laughter. Once again, I felt uneasy. This time, my finger rubbed my front teeth, because I assumed I had lipstick on my teeth. I knew from experience, nobody tells you when you have lipstick on your teeth.
I continued walking in the dairy section, I passed a man pushing a toddler in a cart. The little boy was playing with an action figure. I believe it was Batman, it was gray and black with some yellow on the cape. The little boy looked at me, then lifted up his toy, turned it over and looked at it. His eyes, came back to me again. I stopped, and said "Hello!" to the little guy, because that's what I do. I speak to children.
The little boy just looked at me, not smiling, or talking, he was simply, silent. I felt insecure again. When children don't smile at me and respond in a positive manner, something is wrong. The little boys dad, looked away from me, trying not to laugh, but he still couldn't hide his smirk.
"All right, what is going on here?" I stopped in front of the freezer section and checked out my reflection in the glass. My hair was fine, my teeth were not covered in lipstick, my sweater was clean, and thankfully, I had no toilet paper trail stuck to my shoe.
I shrugged my shoulders, and walked to the checkout. I paid for my groceries, and watched the cashier's face. She had no smirk, she wasnt attempting to stifle laughter, there was nothing. Grateful, I picked up my bag and carried it outside.
The grocery store, is on a very busy street, and at that time of day, it's very difficult to cross. So, I walked to the corner, where the traffic light would safely help me cross the street.
I was part way through the intersection, people in their cars were honking, yelling, or waving to me. "What is wrong with everyone?" I said out loud. I was feeling like a fish in an aquarium, and I didn't like it one little bit!
I was approaching the corner, where I live, so I cut across my brothers lawn, making a bee line for my driveway. A school bus was driving by as I was crossing my front lawn. A kid, sticking his head out of the bus window yelled "Sexy cape lady! Are you on duty?" I was huffing with indignation. "Cape! As*hole! "
My jacket wasn't zipped up, but it certainly did not resemble a cape! I walked into my yard, and unlocked my door, kicked off my shoes, then ran upstairs.
As I was pulling my jacket off, my floral bra, caught my sock. I looked at my freshly washed bra, hooked on my sock. I was confused, how did my bra, get caught on my sock? I turned around, expecting to see the laundry hamper, thinking I had caught it with my jacket, then caught it on my sock. The laundry hamper was not behind me, in fact, it was not even in the room. I unhooked the bra from my sock, but then I realized, with abject horror, that my bra was also attatched to my jacket, but not just! I realized, it had been attached all along!
All of the quizzical stares, smirks, laughing, honking and yelling, all because my bra was hooked onto the back of my jacket! "Oh good grief!"
I remembered I had thrown my jacket onto the laundry basket while I was putting on my socks. Somehow, I managed to hook my bra on the back of my jacket. I was mortified! No wonder that little boy looked at me funny.
I detached my bra from my jacket, folding it up and putting it in my drawer. I looked at myself in my dresser mirror, my hair looked good, my lipstick intact, my clothes, ok, my cape? pomegranate, floral, underwire!
Only me! Only I could inadvertently hook a bra on the back of a jacket, and walk around in a store as well as outside, totally oblivious to the fact.
I had to laugh, and I thought about how ridiculous I must have looked.
There's Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, and then, there's me! Victoria isn't Secret anymore!
Thankfully, that fad faded, as quickly as it began. I, have never been one to follow fashion, for the sake of fashion. I take the more classic approach. Classic, simple styles, are never out of fashion.
As I walked to the grocery store yesterday, I wore my black leather jacket. It has clean lines, and it blocks the wind. I chose to accent my jacket, not with a scarf, or even a matching hand bag. No, I chose to accessorise with a lovely pomegranate, floral bra.
Unbeknownst to me, my freshly washed bra, had somehow become attached to the back of my jacket. I was in a hurry, so I threw on my jacket, grabbed my purse, and out the door I went.
I walked around the grocery store, checking out the specials, walking up and down all of the aisles. I noticed some strange looks, so I immediately became self conscious. Automatically, my hand went to my hair, smoothing it down.
As I continued up the aisles, I could see people looking at me as well as hear some stifled laughter. Once again, I felt uneasy. This time, my finger rubbed my front teeth, because I assumed I had lipstick on my teeth. I knew from experience, nobody tells you when you have lipstick on your teeth.
I continued walking in the dairy section, I passed a man pushing a toddler in a cart. The little boy was playing with an action figure. I believe it was Batman, it was gray and black with some yellow on the cape. The little boy looked at me, then lifted up his toy, turned it over and looked at it. His eyes, came back to me again. I stopped, and said "Hello!" to the little guy, because that's what I do. I speak to children.
The little boy just looked at me, not smiling, or talking, he was simply, silent. I felt insecure again. When children don't smile at me and respond in a positive manner, something is wrong. The little boys dad, looked away from me, trying not to laugh, but he still couldn't hide his smirk.
"All right, what is going on here?" I stopped in front of the freezer section and checked out my reflection in the glass. My hair was fine, my teeth were not covered in lipstick, my sweater was clean, and thankfully, I had no toilet paper trail stuck to my shoe.
I shrugged my shoulders, and walked to the checkout. I paid for my groceries, and watched the cashier's face. She had no smirk, she wasnt attempting to stifle laughter, there was nothing. Grateful, I picked up my bag and carried it outside.
The grocery store, is on a very busy street, and at that time of day, it's very difficult to cross. So, I walked to the corner, where the traffic light would safely help me cross the street.
I was part way through the intersection, people in their cars were honking, yelling, or waving to me. "What is wrong with everyone?" I said out loud. I was feeling like a fish in an aquarium, and I didn't like it one little bit!
I was approaching the corner, where I live, so I cut across my brothers lawn, making a bee line for my driveway. A school bus was driving by as I was crossing my front lawn. A kid, sticking his head out of the bus window yelled "Sexy cape lady! Are you on duty?" I was huffing with indignation. "Cape! As*hole! "
My jacket wasn't zipped up, but it certainly did not resemble a cape! I walked into my yard, and unlocked my door, kicked off my shoes, then ran upstairs.
As I was pulling my jacket off, my floral bra, caught my sock. I looked at my freshly washed bra, hooked on my sock. I was confused, how did my bra, get caught on my sock? I turned around, expecting to see the laundry hamper, thinking I had caught it with my jacket, then caught it on my sock. The laundry hamper was not behind me, in fact, it was not even in the room. I unhooked the bra from my sock, but then I realized, with abject horror, that my bra was also attatched to my jacket, but not just! I realized, it had been attached all along!
All of the quizzical stares, smirks, laughing, honking and yelling, all because my bra was hooked onto the back of my jacket! "Oh good grief!"
I remembered I had thrown my jacket onto the laundry basket while I was putting on my socks. Somehow, I managed to hook my bra on the back of my jacket. I was mortified! No wonder that little boy looked at me funny.
I detached my bra from my jacket, folding it up and putting it in my drawer. I looked at myself in my dresser mirror, my hair looked good, my lipstick intact, my clothes, ok, my cape? pomegranate, floral, underwire!
Only me! Only I could inadvertently hook a bra on the back of a jacket, and walk around in a store as well as outside, totally oblivious to the fact.
I had to laugh, and I thought about how ridiculous I must have looked.
There's Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne, and then, there's me! Victoria isn't Secret anymore!
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