Fear...It Cuts Deeper Than A Knife!
Home again, home again, jiggidy jig! These are the words of a children's nursery rhyme, but for me, they sum up my excitement to be home!
While driving home from Detroit, I could feel my body begin to relax, and my spirit rejoice. By the time we crossed the border into Canada, I felt like I was home.
Many kisses and hugs from our children and grandchildren, welcoming us home, I knew I was home, and safe. The last four days had been a roller-coaster of emotions for me. Terror, sadness, gratefulness, thankfulness, happy, and trepidation.
I was home...finally. I was safe. My husband and I had survived a terrifying experience, but now we have to try and go on. My husband seems to be doing okay, but I am really struggling. I still have uncontrollable bouts of crying and unexpected noises make me jump to the point I feel nauseous. I am hoping this will go away quickly.
I just can't get the sounds and sights out of my head. My husband and and I were there, right there. It could have been one of us. Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, but we never think about dying in such a way. And, yet, it happens everyday, somewhere. When I see it on the news, I shake my head, and I feel sorry for the victims and their families, not to mention all of the others who had the misfortune of being present at such a horrific event. I fear this will be the norm, instead of the exception as I get older. I fear my children, or grandchildren, or friends could experience a similar horrific event. Will they be as fortunate as I?
I can't keep stressing about what could happen, that is not beneficial to anyone. I believe in being proactive rather than reactive, I always have been. However, there's no way to prepare yourself for such an event.
I met a woman from California, during our harrowing experience. She told me she had just completed a survival course on an active shooter scenarios. She told me she forgot everything she learned. She reacted, rather than responded in the way she was trained. Terror took over, and the training she had over a two day weekend was not employed.
Before my husband and I left on our cruise, we were in need of a holiday. At least, we thought we were. Looking back, our hectic, busy, crazy life was still our life. In retrospect, it's nothing compared to the high stress we endured last Friday. Stress, I think is relative to each individual. What I find stressful someone else thrives on. I have a whole new respect for law enforcement and the military. They go in when we are running out!
I am sure time will ease my fear. I don't think I will ever completely feel safe again. I know that every time I go into an environment where there are lots of people, I will seek out the exits, places to hide, and have a contingency plan in case something like that ever happens again.
One of my friends tells me I am being silly. Perhaps I am, but I will never be put in a situation like that again without having a plan. I pray none of you ever have to experience anything like that, be aware of your surroundings, listen and be observant. It may save your life.
While driving home from Detroit, I could feel my body begin to relax, and my spirit rejoice. By the time we crossed the border into Canada, I felt like I was home.
Many kisses and hugs from our children and grandchildren, welcoming us home, I knew I was home, and safe. The last four days had been a roller-coaster of emotions for me. Terror, sadness, gratefulness, thankfulness, happy, and trepidation.
I was home...finally. I was safe. My husband and I had survived a terrifying experience, but now we have to try and go on. My husband seems to be doing okay, but I am really struggling. I still have uncontrollable bouts of crying and unexpected noises make me jump to the point I feel nauseous. I am hoping this will go away quickly.
I just can't get the sounds and sights out of my head. My husband and and I were there, right there. It could have been one of us. Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, but we never think about dying in such a way. And, yet, it happens everyday, somewhere. When I see it on the news, I shake my head, and I feel sorry for the victims and their families, not to mention all of the others who had the misfortune of being present at such a horrific event. I fear this will be the norm, instead of the exception as I get older. I fear my children, or grandchildren, or friends could experience a similar horrific event. Will they be as fortunate as I?
I can't keep stressing about what could happen, that is not beneficial to anyone. I believe in being proactive rather than reactive, I always have been. However, there's no way to prepare yourself for such an event.
I met a woman from California, during our harrowing experience. She told me she had just completed a survival course on an active shooter scenarios. She told me she forgot everything she learned. She reacted, rather than responded in the way she was trained. Terror took over, and the training she had over a two day weekend was not employed.
Before my husband and I left on our cruise, we were in need of a holiday. At least, we thought we were. Looking back, our hectic, busy, crazy life was still our life. In retrospect, it's nothing compared to the high stress we endured last Friday. Stress, I think is relative to each individual. What I find stressful someone else thrives on. I have a whole new respect for law enforcement and the military. They go in when we are running out!
I am sure time will ease my fear. I don't think I will ever completely feel safe again. I know that every time I go into an environment where there are lots of people, I will seek out the exits, places to hide, and have a contingency plan in case something like that ever happens again.
One of my friends tells me I am being silly. Perhaps I am, but I will never be put in a situation like that again without having a plan. I pray none of you ever have to experience anything like that, be aware of your surroundings, listen and be observant. It may save your life.
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