Putting My Best Face Forward
My grandson woke me up early, he wanted to brush his teeth. I guess he has watched me do my morning routine enough to make it his. He decided that because we were up, his sister should be awake as well. Since we were all up, it was time to start our day. The three of us stood in the bathroom, and brushed our teeth, yes my grandson brushed his teeth again, and we brushed our hair. My granddaughter decided we needed to apply makeup. Why not I thought, I hadn't applied any makeup, other than lipstick since I returned from the cruise.
As I searched in my cosmetic bag, I pulled out the mascara. I had completed one eye, and was beginning my second eye when I noticed the faces on both of my grandchildren. I began to laugh. Both of them had one eyebrow cocked higher than the other one, with one eye squinty, the other one bulging. Their mouth was wide open, and it resembled a fish mouth. They were a sight. I was still laughing, when I asked my granddaughter why they were making those crazy faces.
She said "We're copying you grandma." Hearing this I indignantly huffed "I don't make those funny faces!" She looked at me with her sweet little face and said "Yes you do grandma." Waving my hand at her, I continued on with my mascara application. Still thinking about what my granddaughter said, I froze and looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. "Egads! I do make those faces when I apply my mascara!"
My face was tilted forward, like I was conspiring with my reflection. My eyebrow was cocked higher than the other one. My right eye, was barely open, my right eye, was definitely wide open, almost buggy. And yes, my mouth was hanging open like a fish gulping for air! I was hideous!
Had I always made these faces? My husband always used to say he enjoyed watching me put my makeup on. Had he been secretly laughing at me all these years? No wonder! He probably wanted to ensure my face didn't stay like that.
I thought perhaps I was overthinking this. I cleared my head, and once again began putting mascara on my eyelashes, and once again, I froze my pose and looked. It was all true! The eyebrow, the eyes, and my mouth!
My grandchildren were watching me, and making the same faces. My grandson, decided to hold his hands up in a claw like fashion and roar. He was right of course, this face did belong to a monster. My granddaughter, kept cocking her eyebrows up and down, and opening and closing her mouth. She was giggling. Hmmm, if imitation is truly the greatest form of flattery, my grandchildren were my biggest fans!
I decided I had to finish my right eye, my grandchildren already knew my secret. I put my lipstick on, as well as a spritz of my perfume. I needed a coffee after this epiphany.
I sat down in the living room, cup of steaming coffee in my hand. My grandchildren were watching me intently. "What?" I asked. "Why are you looking at me?" My grandaughter, giggling said "We're waiting for you to take a sip of your coffee grandma." I looked at her, and asked her "Why?" "Because grandma, you pucker your lips when you sip your coffee. It's funny!" Pucker my lips? "I do not!" I said, too loud.
Little ham, she's just trying to get my goat! I waved at her to go play. By this time, I really needed to drink my coffee. I put the cup to my mouth, and it was hot...of course. I pursed my lips together as I took a little sip of my steaming brew. It hit me like a wet bag of cement. I do pucker my lips when I drink hot coffee! Do I make stupid faces with everything I do? This was becoming a real concern for me. I am fifty two years old, and I am only now learning of my facial affliction!
Oh well, I thought, it is what it is. I am what I am, an insane, hysterical, crazy face nut! My coffee, however, tastes wonderful.
As I searched in my cosmetic bag, I pulled out the mascara. I had completed one eye, and was beginning my second eye when I noticed the faces on both of my grandchildren. I began to laugh. Both of them had one eyebrow cocked higher than the other one, with one eye squinty, the other one bulging. Their mouth was wide open, and it resembled a fish mouth. They were a sight. I was still laughing, when I asked my granddaughter why they were making those crazy faces.
She said "We're copying you grandma." Hearing this I indignantly huffed "I don't make those funny faces!" She looked at me with her sweet little face and said "Yes you do grandma." Waving my hand at her, I continued on with my mascara application. Still thinking about what my granddaughter said, I froze and looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. "Egads! I do make those faces when I apply my mascara!"
My face was tilted forward, like I was conspiring with my reflection. My eyebrow was cocked higher than the other one. My right eye, was barely open, my right eye, was definitely wide open, almost buggy. And yes, my mouth was hanging open like a fish gulping for air! I was hideous!
Had I always made these faces? My husband always used to say he enjoyed watching me put my makeup on. Had he been secretly laughing at me all these years? No wonder! He probably wanted to ensure my face didn't stay like that.
I thought perhaps I was overthinking this. I cleared my head, and once again began putting mascara on my eyelashes, and once again, I froze my pose and looked. It was all true! The eyebrow, the eyes, and my mouth!
My grandchildren were watching me, and making the same faces. My grandson, decided to hold his hands up in a claw like fashion and roar. He was right of course, this face did belong to a monster. My granddaughter, kept cocking her eyebrows up and down, and opening and closing her mouth. She was giggling. Hmmm, if imitation is truly the greatest form of flattery, my grandchildren were my biggest fans!
I decided I had to finish my right eye, my grandchildren already knew my secret. I put my lipstick on, as well as a spritz of my perfume. I needed a coffee after this epiphany.
I sat down in the living room, cup of steaming coffee in my hand. My grandchildren were watching me intently. "What?" I asked. "Why are you looking at me?" My grandaughter, giggling said "We're waiting for you to take a sip of your coffee grandma." I looked at her, and asked her "Why?" "Because grandma, you pucker your lips when you sip your coffee. It's funny!" Pucker my lips? "I do not!" I said, too loud.
Little ham, she's just trying to get my goat! I waved at her to go play. By this time, I really needed to drink my coffee. I put the cup to my mouth, and it was hot...of course. I pursed my lips together as I took a little sip of my steaming brew. It hit me like a wet bag of cement. I do pucker my lips when I drink hot coffee! Do I make stupid faces with everything I do? This was becoming a real concern for me. I am fifty two years old, and I am only now learning of my facial affliction!
Oh well, I thought, it is what it is. I am what I am, an insane, hysterical, crazy face nut! My coffee, however, tastes wonderful.
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