Run!

     Well, my husband and I finally finished our cruise this past Friday.  We arrived at Port Everglades, Florida, to a beautiful, sunny warm day.  Princess's slogan for cruising is "Come back new".  We did, we stepped on board the week before, stressed and tired, but a week later, we stepped off refreshed and relaxed,  ready to go back to our normal hectic life.
     Our flight was scheduled for 4:30, in the aftrrnoon.  We were dropped off at the Ft. Lauderdale airport, terminal 2.  There were four other cruise ships that had disembarked,  so the airport was full of passengers finishing their vacation, and passengers about to begin their vacation.   We printed out our boarding pass, thankfully no coffee to juggle this time!  Then, we had to wait, and wait, and wait some more, in the baggage line.  As we were about to approach the next available baggage person, an airport employee asked if anyone was about to fly out at noon.  Of course, there was, about fifteen people.  So, we were bumped.  About thirty minutes later, it was our turn.  We checked our luggage, it was about 12 noon.
     The next line was the security line.  Thankfully,  that was fairly fast.  When it was my turn to go through the X-Ray machine, security stopped me.  Apparently,  I had a couple of hot spots that were suspicious.  Truth be told, I had a lot of hot spots.  I had a horrible sunburn that I had been cursed with from the island of Roatàn.    very nice female security officer had to pat me down.  Then, she rubbed my hands with a piece of litmus paper.  I asked her why she was doing that.   She told me she was looking for residue from explosives.  Let's just say I was very relieved to hear I passed.
     We had made it through the airport security checkpoint, it was 12:35 pm.  My husband was hungry, and I was thirsty.  I bought a tiny little pizza, and a couple of drinks.  My husband found a table beside the security counter.  By the time I came back to the table with the pizza and drinks,  it was about 12:40.  We finished our pizza slice, and had a sip of our drink.  I pulled my phone out to text my daughter,  I wanted her to know we were at the airport waiting to board the plane.  I never had a chance to finish the text.
     I heard it before I saw it. It sounded like pop, pop, pop.  It was followed by screaming and then, it sounded like a herd of wild horses running.  I looked up and saw about a dozen security officers running.   I assumed they were chasing someone who hadn't complied.  But, then I saw the look of terror on their faces.  They were not chasing anyone.  They were running from someone.   For a second, I was confused as my brain tried to process what I was seeing.  Then I heard them yelling "Ruuuuunnnn!  He's coming!"  Immediately, I jumped off of my chair and grabbed my husband's arm.  His back was to them, and he hadn't seen what I had. He thought they were yelling "It's coming."  He thought an airplane was crashing.   He wanted to crouch under a table to acess the situation before he ran.   I began pulling him, and was yelling "Come on!"  It was about 12:50.  We began running.   I looked for the Exit signs.  They were at the end of the terminal.  There was a few hundred people running towards the two exits. It was bottlenecking quickly.   People were pushing and shoving in their terror.
     We were approaching both exits.  One was the passageway that connects to a plane.  I could see from the window there was no plane attatched to it.  That was a dead end.  The other exit was to the outside. that's where we needed to go.  A tiny little elderly lady, was pushed down, face first into the floor, she was being trampled.   I yelled to my husband,  I stopped and put my arms out, feet apart to stop people from pushing any further.   I had people shoving and hitting me, yelling, swearing.  I understood,  but  I couldn't watch this lady die just so I could get out the door.  My husband picked her up, and handed her off to the man beside her.   I pulled my husbands jacket toward the stairs.
     There were parents with young children clinging to them, parents with strollers trying desperately to run down the thirty concrete steps, elderly couples, struggling to get down the stairs without falling.  My husband had made it down the stairs first, I was right behind him.  There was a young father, carrying a crying toddler and pushing a stroller with an infant in it.  He was not faring well.  I grabbed the front of the stroller and lifted it up.  We looked each other in the eyes, and never said a word.  He understood what I was doing.  Together we carried the stroller down the last fifteen steps.  We had made it to the bottom and my husband was frantically searching for me in the throes of panicked people.  I saw him and touched his arm.  He grabbed the straps of my purse and said "Don't let go!"  We were running so fast.  Everything was a blur.
     We were running around baggage trains, other people, carts, and luggage people had dropped.   There was a lady running ahead of us, pulling a huge suitcase.  A man was running beside us,  my husband was running, pulling me, but the lady's suitcase was in the way.   I was going to fall.  The man running beside us lifted his leg and kicked her suitcase.  It went flying to the left, and thankfully out of my way.
     We were running for what seemed like seconds.  It was minutes, we were way out on the runway!  There were planes landing all around us, as we continued to run.  Security was yelling at us to keep going.  We did.
     Security officers met us out on the tarmac.   They told us to stay where we were.  By this time, we had probably run about a mile outside.  As I looked around,  I could see the shattered expressions on everyones faces.  We were exhausted, terrified and hot.  By this point, none of us really knew what was going on.  I knew there was an active shooter, but I had no idea if there were more.
     Security, was being bombarded with questions and concerns.   People wanted to know what was happening.   They didn't know anymore than us.  We could see an airport car drive up, and an airport executive climbed out and began talking to us.
     He told us to remain calm, which made most of us more hysterical.   I was sobbing off and on, I couldn't stop.  We were told there was a shooter, and he was in custody.  The sheriff's department was clearing the terminal, and we would be allowed back in shortly.   This was not sitting well with my husband or I.  If the shooter acted alone and was in custody,  why did they continue to have their guns drawn?  There was something more going on.
     Half of the people outside with us, had broken through the security barricades,  and most of them were carrying bags.  We were concerned there were more shooters outside with us.
     Baggage handlers were handing out bottles of water to everyone, as we were baking out there in the hot sun.   It was 12:57 pm.
     Busses were brought out for people to sit in and get out of the sun.  I was not getting in there.  I was still wary of the people who hadn't cleared security.
     My husband and I hung back from the crowd.   We could see an elderly couple struggling to walk toward us.  They were having a very difficult time.  We got them some seats, and spoke to security, telling them they needed wheelchairs and possibly EMS.
      One of the security officers told us everything was clear and we could go back in.  My husband and I weren't convinced.  We continued to hang back as people willingly walked back toward terminal 2.
     There were EMS, treating people, sherriff deputies and FBI agents all around us.  They were waving their arms, trying to hustle us back into the airport.   We stood there watching people climb up the stairs, back into the building we had run from just minutes before.
     My husband and I were talking to a pilot, asking him if he knew what was going on.  He told us he heard the shots, but he didn't think anyone was hurt.
       Most of the people had made their way back inside, when we heard the alarm go off again.  People were screaming, and running outside again.  I was crying again,  and running again.  I was in the middle of a nightmare.  I wasn't afraid to die, I was terrified of what was going to happen before I die.
     The deputies, and FBI were now in control of us.  They were yelling at us.  They told us to "Shut up!  Stay calm!  Go to the wall, and don't move!"  The wall, they were referring to was the outside wall of the parking garage.  We could hear the chatter on their radios, I heard there were 5 people dead and possibly nine other people suffering from gunshot injuries.
    People all around us were on their phones, talking to loved ones, or watching  CNN.  They were yelling out to the rest of us what was going on.  Above us, on the other side of the wall, were reporters and their vans, they were lined up and reporting this all live.  We were in what we were told was a life or death struggle, and they were reporting it.   They were filming it all.  Emotions were raw and the last thing we wanted was to be live on any news program.  Helicopters were all around us.  Reporters were taking video from up above, as well as sherriff and FBI helicopters.  It was a whir of noise and I felt like I was in a fishbowl.
      We were huddled behind luggage carts, in front of this wall.  People were crying, kids were screaming, others yelling, while some sat quietly.   My emotions were all of the above, it went second by second.
     I had texted my daughter to ask her what CNN was saying.   She told me the sherriff had the shooter in custody.   Everything was fine.  I was not inclined to agree with them.  I was watching the sheriff's department, SWAT and FBI all around us with their body armor on, guns drawn, hunched down taking cover.  Something else was happening.   We all knew it.  I also texted my friend Shelley for information.  She told me the same thing as my daughter.   Over the radio, we continued to hear chatter, they were saying there were possible explosives in the parking garage.  We were against the wall of the parking garage.  I could also hear, "Multiple shooters!  Be advised, multiple shooters!"  I felt sick.  We could possibly be blown up, or picked off against this wall.  We were like sitting ducks.  I did not feel calm, or at ease.
     There was another wave of screaming,  and more people running.   Fear was thick in the air.   It hung off the humidity,  and there was no escaping it.  I was shaking uncontrollably now, my heart was racing, and I thought I was going to be sick.
     Amongst us were airport security,  airline executives, baggage handlers, and people trying to go on vacation, or coming back from one.  I thought of the Princess slogan again.  "Come back new."  A week away made us new people, four hours at the Ft. Lauderdale airport, and I was ready for another cruise!  For some reason, I began to laugh, and then that turned into more crying.   I had no control.  For a control freak, that's a hard pill to swallow.
     We stood out there, all of us, on edge and nervous, so we tried to comfort one another.  The adults put on brave faces for the children and  I took people's hands and prayed.   It was the only thing I could do.  God had protected us so far.
     We saw soldiers now.  That didn't make me feel better.  All around us, were people, from every branch of Florida's law enforcement,  not to mention federal, and it's military,  all with guns drawn as well as M16's and all I could think of is getting shot by friendly fire.
     The sheriff's department got the all clear signal.  They began herding us back into the terminal.  My husband and I still felt uneasy about this, so once again we hung back.
     Afterall, we had been through this before.  All clear, then screaming and running back.  I was going to wait.
      Finally,  we could wait no more, we had to go in so they could lock the doors.  As I made my way in, I asked a deputy why everyone was allowed to bring in their bags, and why we weren't patted down.  He told me not to worry about it.  Not worry about it?  My pitch was getting higher, and I could hear the hysteria in my voice.  "Excuse me sir, but half of these people crashed through security without being cleared.  They have bags.  Shouldn't all of the bags be left outside?  How do you know there aren't more shooters waiting to get inside a small area and open fire?"  He looked at me and told me not to tell them how to do their job.  "If anyone opens fire, we will shoot him ma'm."  I couldn't believe my ears.   "Yes" I said, "But how many innocent people will be shot in the process?"  He told me to be quiet and find a seat.
     I did, back in the corner where we had made our frantic exodus hours before.  If anything happened, we were mere steps from the door.
     The FBI announced they had found a suspicious bag so they were going to do a controlled explosion.   I never heard what the outcome was.
     It was dark, we were exhausted, hungry and thirsty.  Someone from the airlines came by with a red card.  We had to call to make alternate flight arrangements.  We had to book a room for a few nights as well. All flights were grounded that night.  The first available flight home was Sunday.  All of this expense was our own.
      We weren't even sure if we were getting out of the airport.   Airport security announced we were to board busses and go to a secure location.   As we walked out of the airport, people were lined up waiting to board a bus.   It was a media circus.  Camera's were thrust in our faces, and reporters were asking how we felt during the ordeal.   I wanted to yell at them, and make them run around for hours, terrified thinking they were going to be shot or blown up, then stick a camera in their face and see how they felt.
      The busses, resembled a train, there were so many.  I counted thirty of them, drove to Port Everglades, and dropped us off.  This is the exact same place we disembarked hours earlier from our cruise.   I certainly didn't expect to be back there so soon.  The community center was open with the Red Cross handing out water.  By this time, people weren't looking for water,  they were hungry and tired and wanted to go home or to a hotel.
     Once again, there were hundreds of police, lights flashing, officers walking around with guns out.  They told us to either go inside or wait for a cab.  At no time did anyone check anyone's bags or pat us down.  I thought this was sloppy.  Who knows who made it through the security barrier and with what.
     We opted for a cab to take us to our hotel.  We were watching and waiting for them but they never pulled up.   A gentleman standing beside me informed me that the gate had been closed.  No cabs were allowed in.  It was more than a mile out to the highway, and then what?  Nobody had any phone numbers to phone anyway.
     We met a wonderful couple picking up their son who had spent hours stuck on an airplane during the whole terror ordeal.  They were kind enough to drop us off at our hotel.   As we pulled out of the port authority,  we could see hundreds of people lining the highway in the dark.  They were pulling luggage, pushing strollers, or just standing there alone.  I was thoroughly disgusted.   Why bring us all the way out here to just let us figure our own ride?
     By the time we arrived at our hotel, and we opened up the door to our room, all I wanted was to have a shower and go to bed.  We were so tired and emotionally spent.  I wanted to cry, but I had no tears left.
     My husband and I arrived in Detroit last night at 9:45.  It was freezing, but I was so relieved to get away from Ft. Lauderdale.  I realize it isn't the city, but it is the memory of what happened there that continues to play over and over in my head.  People lost their lives, families will never be the same.  This was a tragedy.  The media and federal authorities can put whatever spin they want on it.  Mental illness be damned!  This man planned and executed five people in cold blood!  I don't believe it was mental illness.  It was too planned out, too neat, too organized.   Mental illness is scattered thoughts, and unorganized thinking.  I believe there is much more happening and we will never know the truth.  The reality is our world lost more of its innocence,  it's safety and joy.  It was replaced with fear, and sorrow amd suspicion.
     I'm glad that we only take holidays every few years.   I can't handle any more excitement.


This is where my husband and I were sitting when the shooting occurred.   The people in blue are the security officers.  This is the barrier everyone crashed. 
My husband in the hat.  We stood behind this container, in front of the wall, listening to all of the police chatter, being told to "Shut up, stay calm, and don't move!"
This is a blurry picture I inadvertently snapped while we were running from the gunman.  My phone was in my hand at the time, and I had no idea this was here until hours later.

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