Retreat Or Respite

     I must apologize for not publishing my blog for the past three days.  I had a trying, and emotionally draining week.
     I had a job interview last Monday, and I was happy to have been offered a full time job for afternoons.  I was absolutely thrilled.  Thrilled for the job, being on afternoons, the same shift as my husband, and a chance to save some money for our next vacation.
     Tuesday was my first day of work, and my last day of work.  Let's just say I was very disappointed.  I am like a gypsy, in respect to my employment history.  I'm not afraid of hard work or change.  I enjoy a good challenge.  I do not however like or expect to be treated poorly while at work.
     Unfortunately, my idea of working and other people's idea of working are different.  Due to employment differences and my nonconformity to dangerous work habits, I decided not to return.   I was very upset with the outcome, it has only been six years since I was last employed, but it felt like a century.
     When did coworkers become so disparaging, spouting blistering comments to discredit and hurt each other?  When did supervisors turn a blind eye to such careless work place shenanigans that can hurt people?  I have experienced both, but not in an eight hour shift, on my first day of a new job.  I left feeling worthless and devalued as a human.
     By Wednesday morning, I was feeling low and unsure of my feelings.  I was second guessing my emotions, and I wondered if I was being overly sensitive.  I decided I was not.
     As the week progressed, someone close to me made me feel the exact same way.    I was told my opinion didn't matter, and it was wrong.  The great thing about opinions, is everyone has one.  These thoughts, are ours, right or wrong, they belong to each of one of us.  I've been told many times my opinion is wrong, which doesn't bother me.  However, this someone I love, was malicious, and belligerent towards me because he didn't agree with me, and it hit me hard.  He told me "Nobody wanted to hear my opinion, and I should shut up."  I felt like I had a vacuum shoved down my throat, sucking the air out of my lungs!
     I didn't know how to react.  I was hurt and confused, especially after my disastrous work experience.
     I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching the past few days.  I thought I should stop writing my blog.  I felt like I was being foolish publishing my experiences everyday.  I was emotionally deflated.
     By Friday, I had messages from people all around the globe asking me why I hadn't published anything in three days.  People were telling me they enjoy reading my blog every morning, because I tell about real life.  I discoved my blog represents not just my life, but others as well.  When they read the crazy things that happen to me, they feel they are not alone in this world.  One of my readers told me that I was her voice.  Wow, I was someone's voice, me, that was powerful.
     I believe that maybe I am a voice for some people.  Some days, all hell breaks loose, some days, I'm sad, happy, or stressed out.  The point is, we all are some of these things, everyday.
     To some, my voice, and opinion means nothing, to others, they look forward to it.
I will continue to write and publish my blog.  It is cathartic for me, and apparently others as well.   I hope this is respite for you.  May God Bless and keep you.