We Are Family?
We are all born to a family. Perhaps, not the traditional type, with a biological mother, father and siblings. Maybe, it's with a foster family, or through adoption. We are all part of some type of family unit, good or bad.
Some families, are only tied together through their DNA chain. In these circumstances, their ties are broken, if they were ever there to start. Blood does not make a family.
I have three brothers, one I talk to everyday, we are very close. One, we communicate only through text every now and then, my oldest brother, not at all. We were all raised in the same house, taught the same rules, instilled with the same morals and values by our parents. We are however, very different.
Having no relationship to speak of with two of my brothers has really hurt me. Time, distance and circumstances has been a huge part of our lack of closeness definitely, but I believe it mostly stems from a lack of caring. I can't and don't blame them for all of it.
Families truly need to be nurtured. Love doesn't hold the bond together. Respect, caring, and interest in the other's life is equally as important. Without these, the relationship will fizzle away like a candle on a birthday cake.
As I have grown older, I have a better relationship with my friends than my family. I don't think I am alone. Growing up, and seeing our siblings everyday brings a closeness, but it's only because of proximity. The real test of a family connection comes when adult children move out. When or if they move a distance away can have a large impact on the family unit. Not only is that person becoming independent, they are learning who they are as an individual.
Getting married, having children adds a new dynamic to the family as well. Now there are new people vying for attention. It can be wonderful, or it can be painful. Bottom line is, each person has to work to keep the family strong.
Unfortunately, in my family, after the death of our mom, our family fell apart. At least that is how I perceived it. I was wrong. My mother's death didn't precipitate the dissolution of our family, it only hastened it. It was terminal, just like my mother's cancer.
There is no magic cure to heal a family. There are no treatments, just hard work and dedication to one another. Because of distances between us, it was impossible to get together every couple of months. We could have spoken on the phone more, or just kept the lines of communication open. I was just as guilty as they were.
Everyone gets busy, but that isn't an excuse. I found the longer in between speaking to one another, the easier it became not to. Eventually, our conversation revolved around the weather and remember when... At that point, it's difficult to recover from that. I find those subjects the lowest form of conversations, because nobody knows what else to discuss.
I would love to get my relationship with my brothers back. I know that I will need to be the one to commence conversation. I don't even know if they are interested in doing so. I do know that as I grow older, I feel the need to have that familiar bond in my life.
Treasure your family, nurture it, communicate, laugh together and make time for each other. Love your family.
My brothers and I in happier times
Some families, are only tied together through their DNA chain. In these circumstances, their ties are broken, if they were ever there to start. Blood does not make a family.
I have three brothers, one I talk to everyday, we are very close. One, we communicate only through text every now and then, my oldest brother, not at all. We were all raised in the same house, taught the same rules, instilled with the same morals and values by our parents. We are however, very different.
Having no relationship to speak of with two of my brothers has really hurt me. Time, distance and circumstances has been a huge part of our lack of closeness definitely, but I believe it mostly stems from a lack of caring. I can't and don't blame them for all of it.
Families truly need to be nurtured. Love doesn't hold the bond together. Respect, caring, and interest in the other's life is equally as important. Without these, the relationship will fizzle away like a candle on a birthday cake.
As I have grown older, I have a better relationship with my friends than my family. I don't think I am alone. Growing up, and seeing our siblings everyday brings a closeness, but it's only because of proximity. The real test of a family connection comes when adult children move out. When or if they move a distance away can have a large impact on the family unit. Not only is that person becoming independent, they are learning who they are as an individual.
Getting married, having children adds a new dynamic to the family as well. Now there are new people vying for attention. It can be wonderful, or it can be painful. Bottom line is, each person has to work to keep the family strong.
Unfortunately, in my family, after the death of our mom, our family fell apart. At least that is how I perceived it. I was wrong. My mother's death didn't precipitate the dissolution of our family, it only hastened it. It was terminal, just like my mother's cancer.
There is no magic cure to heal a family. There are no treatments, just hard work and dedication to one another. Because of distances between us, it was impossible to get together every couple of months. We could have spoken on the phone more, or just kept the lines of communication open. I was just as guilty as they were.
Everyone gets busy, but that isn't an excuse. I found the longer in between speaking to one another, the easier it became not to. Eventually, our conversation revolved around the weather and remember when... At that point, it's difficult to recover from that. I find those subjects the lowest form of conversations, because nobody knows what else to discuss.
I would love to get my relationship with my brothers back. I know that I will need to be the one to commence conversation. I don't even know if they are interested in doing so. I do know that as I grow older, I feel the need to have that familiar bond in my life.
Treasure your family, nurture it, communicate, laugh together and make time for each other. Love your family.
My brothers and I in happier times
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