All Great Truths Begin As Poop!
It's funny, the different conversations I have in a 24 hour period. Conversations with my family, friends, neighbours, not to mention various people I run into while doing errands, or shopping.
I thought about all of these conversations I had yesterday. Mundane, unimportant salutations, that most people would find meaningless. However, at the time, it was the hot topic of that moment.
My daughter and I speak about 10 times a day, usually about her children. Yesterday, our conversation was specific to poop. Yes, poop, It was a lengthy conversation about my grandson pooping on the potty, and my granddaughter having diarrhea because she ate chocolate.
Later, my neighbour and I chatted while getting the mail. We exchanged niceties, and then she proceeded to tell me she's been constipated for a week. She asked me what I do when that happens. I looked at her and told her "When that happens to me, I run a yellow light, in front of a cop. It's a guaranteed laxative, it sure works for me."
While I was at a store buying supplies for my granddaughter's 5th birthday party, a gentleman asked me if I could help him find a nice card for his wife. Apparently he forgot their anniversary so he thought a card would get him out of the dog house. I asked him if he had something to go along with it and he told me "No, that's bad isn't it? I'm in sh*t now aren't I?" I suggested flowers and a nice dinner out might help. It could definitely be a in the sh*t pile moment for that man.
After coming home, I cleaned the kitty litter, ridding it of cat poop. Its a job I hate, but it needs to be done. My cats can't say thank you, but my nose does. Poop in, and poop out.
Even commercials on television discuss poop. Whether helping you to, or helping you to stop. During one commercial interval, I saw two different advertisements, one, about a womas laxitive, promising to be gentle, yet effective. Laxitives are effective alright, effectively ridding your body of a week's worth of backed up waste, with an exolosion and nasty noise effects to go with it. The other ad was for a new medication, blah, blah, blah, side effects can be mild to severe and may include diarrhea, dry mouth and suicidal thoughts. Oh my word, I hope the diarrhea side effect wasn't driving someone mad enough to "off" themselves.
Who knew dinner could create thougts about poop? Last night, my son, ate pizza, along with bread sticks and dipping sauce. He asked if I would like to share. Besides the fact that I am on this diet, it still would not be a good idea for me to indulge in pizza. All that cheese...very bad, very bad indeed. Makes me want to sit on the toilet just thinking about it.
Even at my husband's work, I could hear two truck drivers joking with one another. Sh*thead was a friendly term of endearment directed toward one of them. I dont know if the guy had sh*t for brains, his buddy seemed to think so. Sh*thead? I guess you have to be one to know one.
After leaving my husband, I needed gas so I pulled into a gas station to fill up my car with gas. There beside me, were two young women, filling their vehicles too. They were asking each other what their weekend plans were. One of them shared her plan of getting drunk, she said "You know, for sh*t and giggles. " Hmmm, people must have a more amusing bathroom experience than I have.
Of course, just as I pulled into my driveway, a black bird flying over, pooped all over my windshield. A massive, slimy splash of swill! I don't think he was the bird of paradise either, not with the mess I had to clean.
There it was, in all its smelly, crazy glory...poop. I had been surrounded by it all day. Well, figuratively anyway. Talked about it, cleaned up after it, helping someone get out of it, and looking at someone who's head is composed of it.
I was looking forward to putting that day to bed, along with the topic of poop. Thankfully, poop was not part of my dream repertoire.
I am hoping today's conversations begins with a different subject. I hear vomits looking for its own day.
I thought about all of these conversations I had yesterday. Mundane, unimportant salutations, that most people would find meaningless. However, at the time, it was the hot topic of that moment.
My daughter and I speak about 10 times a day, usually about her children. Yesterday, our conversation was specific to poop. Yes, poop, It was a lengthy conversation about my grandson pooping on the potty, and my granddaughter having diarrhea because she ate chocolate.
Later, my neighbour and I chatted while getting the mail. We exchanged niceties, and then she proceeded to tell me she's been constipated for a week. She asked me what I do when that happens. I looked at her and told her "When that happens to me, I run a yellow light, in front of a cop. It's a guaranteed laxative, it sure works for me."
While I was at a store buying supplies for my granddaughter's 5th birthday party, a gentleman asked me if I could help him find a nice card for his wife. Apparently he forgot their anniversary so he thought a card would get him out of the dog house. I asked him if he had something to go along with it and he told me "No, that's bad isn't it? I'm in sh*t now aren't I?" I suggested flowers and a nice dinner out might help. It could definitely be a in the sh*t pile moment for that man.
After coming home, I cleaned the kitty litter, ridding it of cat poop. Its a job I hate, but it needs to be done. My cats can't say thank you, but my nose does. Poop in, and poop out.
Even commercials on television discuss poop. Whether helping you to, or helping you to stop. During one commercial interval, I saw two different advertisements, one, about a womas laxitive, promising to be gentle, yet effective. Laxitives are effective alright, effectively ridding your body of a week's worth of backed up waste, with an exolosion and nasty noise effects to go with it. The other ad was for a new medication, blah, blah, blah, side effects can be mild to severe and may include diarrhea, dry mouth and suicidal thoughts. Oh my word, I hope the diarrhea side effect wasn't driving someone mad enough to "off" themselves.
Who knew dinner could create thougts about poop? Last night, my son, ate pizza, along with bread sticks and dipping sauce. He asked if I would like to share. Besides the fact that I am on this diet, it still would not be a good idea for me to indulge in pizza. All that cheese...very bad, very bad indeed. Makes me want to sit on the toilet just thinking about it.
Even at my husband's work, I could hear two truck drivers joking with one another. Sh*thead was a friendly term of endearment directed toward one of them. I dont know if the guy had sh*t for brains, his buddy seemed to think so. Sh*thead? I guess you have to be one to know one.
After leaving my husband, I needed gas so I pulled into a gas station to fill up my car with gas. There beside me, were two young women, filling their vehicles too. They were asking each other what their weekend plans were. One of them shared her plan of getting drunk, she said "You know, for sh*t and giggles. " Hmmm, people must have a more amusing bathroom experience than I have.
Of course, just as I pulled into my driveway, a black bird flying over, pooped all over my windshield. A massive, slimy splash of swill! I don't think he was the bird of paradise either, not with the mess I had to clean.
There it was, in all its smelly, crazy glory...poop. I had been surrounded by it all day. Well, figuratively anyway. Talked about it, cleaned up after it, helping someone get out of it, and looking at someone who's head is composed of it.
I was looking forward to putting that day to bed, along with the topic of poop. Thankfully, poop was not part of my dream repertoire.
I am hoping today's conversations begins with a different subject. I hear vomits looking for its own day.
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