It Wasn't Charlotte, and I'm not Wilbur!
I was driving home last night, after taking my husband his dinner. I had made it through the first traffic light, when I noticed 2 silvery threads fluttering across my dash.
At first, I thought they were strands from my granddaughter's long blonde hair, that somehow blew up to the front of my car. I realized, very quickly, that they were not strands of my granddaughter's hair, but strands of a spider web. Deciding I needed to clean my car, I gave it no further thought.
I turned the corner, heading west, and the sun was breaking through the overcast sky, beginning it's decent for another day. The sun caught the silky threads, but this time, there weren't 2, there were 3. "I must not have seen the other one in the shade." I said this out loud, hoping my brain would accept this explanation. It didn't.
Immediately, my eyes began to scan my dashboard, looking for movement. I didn't have to look long. There, on the passenger side, was a spider weaving a new thread across my dash, coming to my side.
My mind began to panic, and I broke out into a cold sweat. The spider, coming to the end of the dash, let go and was dangling down, right toward my hands. My hands are connected to my arms, which are connected to my shoulders, which are connected to my chest, which is connected to my neck, which is connected to my head! My head has 7 openings, for it to crawl into and suck out my brains! This called for evasive action.
I pulled over, and threw open my door. I tried to jump out but I was tangled. I let out a shrill, blood curdling scream, positive the spider had cast it's web around me. I threw my hands up to tear the web off of me, I opened my eyes a crack, turns out, I wasn't stuck in the spiders web, but my seat belt. I unfastened it, hands shaking, and jumped out of the car, and began
convulsing my head, and body, including my hands, all the while screaming. I had just done more of a cardio workout in 30 seconds than I did in 1 week.
The car that had been driving behind me, pulled up in front of my car, and the driver quickly ran back towards me. I was still doing my dance, when he touched my shoulder. I noticed a woman was running my way too. The man was asking me something. "Pardon?" I managed to ask, gulping for air. "What's wrong?" The man looked as freaked out as I was, the lady, she was wise, she kept her distance. "A spider!" That's all I could get out. I began doing the scaredy cat dance again. "A spider?" The man looked at me incredulously.
Indignantly, I said "Yes, a spider!" The man rolled his eyes, and told me he thought I was having some sort of seizure. "That spider is more afraid of you, than you are of it." "Oh really? Did it tell you that?" I asked. The man rolled his eyes again. "Exactly ." I said. He turned around and began walking back to his car, muttering and shaking his head. The woman, said something to him, but I couldn't hear her. I was waiting for the onslaught, I thought for sure would be coming my way. Instead, the man turned back my way, and began walking toward my car, followed closely by the woman.
He bent down, and reached into my car, then, in a flash he was out. He was rubbing his hand on the back of his jeans. "What? What is that? Where is it?" The woman asked. I looked from her to him, back and forth. I felt like I was watching a tennis match! He said "It's dead." She asked "Where is it?" He said "On the back of my pants." I backed up a foot, looking. She asked " How do you know it's dead?" He answered "Because I squished it with my finger, then wiped it on my ass! Believe me" He said, " The spider is dead."
I wanted to believe him, I did, but I wanted proof. I wanted to look at his backside to see if there were any remnants. Spiders have 8 legs, surely there was 1 leg dangling on his pants. He must have known what I was thinking, because he said" Do you want proof?" The woman came over and bent down, examining his pants. Satisfied, she stood up and looked at me with a genuine look of concern. "It's dead." She said.
The man, shaking his head, began going off then. " They say cell phones are a destraction? How about spiders? They need to make a law about them!" The woman and I locked eyes, " Do you think they can?" I asked. She smiled, and said "I know, do we fine the spiders or just give them the death penalty? " "Death penalty! " We both said it simultaneously. We laughed, I thanked her profusely for stopping and helping me. She said she would have done the exact same thing if a spider was in her car.
I waved at the couple as they drove away, and climbed back into my car. I pulled back onto the road, thinking about the past 10 minutes, and my terrifying experience.
My car, in the past 2 weeks, has hosted a crazy squirrel, mosquitos, and now a spider. I prayed this would be the end of my wildlife adventures, at least in the car!
I was thankful to the couple that assisted me in my arachnid plight, I was thankful, the spider was gone, and I survived the whole ordeal.
Afterall, it's not seeing a spider that's so terrifying, it's losing the spider that scares you!
At first, I thought they were strands from my granddaughter's long blonde hair, that somehow blew up to the front of my car. I realized, very quickly, that they were not strands of my granddaughter's hair, but strands of a spider web. Deciding I needed to clean my car, I gave it no further thought.
I turned the corner, heading west, and the sun was breaking through the overcast sky, beginning it's decent for another day. The sun caught the silky threads, but this time, there weren't 2, there were 3. "I must not have seen the other one in the shade." I said this out loud, hoping my brain would accept this explanation. It didn't.
Immediately, my eyes began to scan my dashboard, looking for movement. I didn't have to look long. There, on the passenger side, was a spider weaving a new thread across my dash, coming to my side.
My mind began to panic, and I broke out into a cold sweat. The spider, coming to the end of the dash, let go and was dangling down, right toward my hands. My hands are connected to my arms, which are connected to my shoulders, which are connected to my chest, which is connected to my neck, which is connected to my head! My head has 7 openings, for it to crawl into and suck out my brains! This called for evasive action.
I pulled over, and threw open my door. I tried to jump out but I was tangled. I let out a shrill, blood curdling scream, positive the spider had cast it's web around me. I threw my hands up to tear the web off of me, I opened my eyes a crack, turns out, I wasn't stuck in the spiders web, but my seat belt. I unfastened it, hands shaking, and jumped out of the car, and began
convulsing my head, and body, including my hands, all the while screaming. I had just done more of a cardio workout in 30 seconds than I did in 1 week.
The car that had been driving behind me, pulled up in front of my car, and the driver quickly ran back towards me. I was still doing my dance, when he touched my shoulder. I noticed a woman was running my way too. The man was asking me something. "Pardon?" I managed to ask, gulping for air. "What's wrong?" The man looked as freaked out as I was, the lady, she was wise, she kept her distance. "A spider!" That's all I could get out. I began doing the scaredy cat dance again. "A spider?" The man looked at me incredulously.
Indignantly, I said "Yes, a spider!" The man rolled his eyes, and told me he thought I was having some sort of seizure. "That spider is more afraid of you, than you are of it." "Oh really? Did it tell you that?" I asked. The man rolled his eyes again. "Exactly ." I said. He turned around and began walking back to his car, muttering and shaking his head. The woman, said something to him, but I couldn't hear her. I was waiting for the onslaught, I thought for sure would be coming my way. Instead, the man turned back my way, and began walking toward my car, followed closely by the woman.
He bent down, and reached into my car, then, in a flash he was out. He was rubbing his hand on the back of his jeans. "What? What is that? Where is it?" The woman asked. I looked from her to him, back and forth. I felt like I was watching a tennis match! He said "It's dead." She asked "Where is it?" He said "On the back of my pants." I backed up a foot, looking. She asked " How do you know it's dead?" He answered "Because I squished it with my finger, then wiped it on my ass! Believe me" He said, " The spider is dead."
I wanted to believe him, I did, but I wanted proof. I wanted to look at his backside to see if there were any remnants. Spiders have 8 legs, surely there was 1 leg dangling on his pants. He must have known what I was thinking, because he said" Do you want proof?" The woman came over and bent down, examining his pants. Satisfied, she stood up and looked at me with a genuine look of concern. "It's dead." She said.
The man, shaking his head, began going off then. " They say cell phones are a destraction? How about spiders? They need to make a law about them!" The woman and I locked eyes, " Do you think they can?" I asked. She smiled, and said "I know, do we fine the spiders or just give them the death penalty? " "Death penalty! " We both said it simultaneously. We laughed, I thanked her profusely for stopping and helping me. She said she would have done the exact same thing if a spider was in her car.
I waved at the couple as they drove away, and climbed back into my car. I pulled back onto the road, thinking about the past 10 minutes, and my terrifying experience.
My car, in the past 2 weeks, has hosted a crazy squirrel, mosquitos, and now a spider. I prayed this would be the end of my wildlife adventures, at least in the car!
I was thankful to the couple that assisted me in my arachnid plight, I was thankful, the spider was gone, and I survived the whole ordeal.
Afterall, it's not seeing a spider that's so terrifying, it's losing the spider that scares you!
Comments
Post a Comment