How You Like Me Now?
Every once in a while, I get a chance to win, in a karma kind of way.
Yesterday, I was feeling a bit better, so I went to pick up a few groceries. Not a whole weeks worth, I wasn't feeling that good. I did feel well enough to shop for a few days supply, however.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I drove toward a rear parking spot. I seem to always get my car dented by other car doors, or a shopping cart if I pull into a closer spot. I found the perfect spot, right at the back, and best of all there wasn't another car even remotely close to where I parked.
I walked around the store slowly, pacing myself. I was feeling better, but my chest still hurt, and I was very fatigued. I needed a few groceries and the fresh air and the exercise around the store would probably be beneficial.
I picked up the things I needed and I headed for the cashier. I was about to place my first item on the conveyor belt, but I was beat by a thirty-something man, budding in front of me. I didn't have the energy to complain or fight, so I just stood back and let him be checked out first. After he was finished, he looked at me, smiled and said "No harm, no foul." I think that is one of the more stupid expressions to say, I just looked at him, and decided I would ignore his rudeness and his poor sense of humour.
I finished paying for my groceries, and I walked toward my car. Beside my car, was a red, sporty Charger. When I say beside me, I should mention, I would need a can opener to get into my door. This person, parked so close to the drivers side of my car, I couldn't open the door. I had about a 6 inch clearance between both vehicles. "Oh that's just great!" I said to myself. "I parked all the way at the back, to prevent any dents and I end up with an as*hole, practically welded to the side of my car." I looked around, to see if I could see the owner of this car, but there was nobody to be seen. I unlocked my car, and began to pack my bags in the back of my car. I hoped that by the time I finished, this person, would be back, moving the car. As it turns out, luck was not on my side, so, I had to climb in the passenger door, and climb over the console and the gear shift. It was more difficult than I imagined. I was part way in, one leg on the passenger side, one leg on the drivers side, my rear end, balanced above the gear shift. I managed to get my right leg lifted over the center console, and maneuver myself in the drivers seat. I had a wedgie up to my belly button that needed immediate care. I pulled my pants out, and twisted them back to where they belonged. Breathing deeply, I was glad that was over with. I wanted to go home. I looked over at the passenger door, realizing it was wide open. Groaning, and grunting, I leaned back over the console to grab the door. I couldn't reach it. I literally had to lay down sideways, with the gearshift goosing my backside in order to close the door. I managed to reach the handle and shut the door. I had to push myself back up in the drivers seat. That was a mess! I became jammed in between the steering wheel and the back of the seat. Of course, if I hadn't have been kicked out of my yoga class, I might have been better able to readjust myself. I was part way up, when I heard a knock on the drivers window. I had to crane my neck to look, but when I did, I noticed the guy from the grocery store smiling at me, holding up a bag from Picard Peanuts, a store next to the parking lot where we were sitting. That explains what took him so long, I thought. He looked at me, in my awkward position and laughed, then he said "How's that feel?" He threw his head back laughing, I sat up, in time for him to speed out of the parking lot, waving to me. If I had had the strength, I would have flipped him the bird.
Finally, I was on my way, but my idiot light came on for low fuel and began to beep. I decided I had better fuel up before I went home.
I pulled out of the parking lot, and had to stop at the red light, before the gas station. After it turned green, I proceeded through the intersection, and was driving past the exit of Tim Hortons, when I heard a loud, long beeeeeeep, followed by a red Charger, pulling out in front of me, and not only cutting me off but scaring the daylights out of me. It was the same guy from the grocery store. Bastard!
It was time to turn into the gas station, but, as I pulled in, a streak of red shot in front of me, and pulled into an open gas line. There was an open spot ahead of him, but of course, he didn't pull up to allow anyone else to gas up at the same time. He pumped his gas, then went inside to pay, walking out 5 minutes later laughing. He looked at me and said "Ooh, if looks could kill, I'd be dead! How do you like me now?" Then he hopped in his car, screeching out of the lot of the gas station.
I filled my car, paid and turned up my street to go home.
This is the place in time, where the stars aligned for perfect justice. Across from the high school, just up from my house, is a church. Police like to sit there, and set up speed traps. Up ahead, was a police car, lights flashing, stopped behind a red Charger. Immediately, my mouth drew up into the biggest, Mr Grinch smile! I had no control over my mouth, it was pure reflex. I drove by very slowly, honking and waving. The guy in the red Charger, wasn't laughing or smiling, he looked at me with total contempt. It was an awesome feeling! Like the Stanley Cup of karma.
I pulled into my driveway, and walked to the back to open up my back hatch. Coming down the road, was the guy in the red Charger. He was stopped directly behind my driveway, behind 3 cars, waiting to turn the corner. His passenger window was open, so I bent down and peeked into his window. He wasn't expecting to see me staring back at him, and he jumped when I knocked on the top of his car. I smiled and said "How did that feel?" He just glared at me and closed his windows. I turned back to get my groceries out of my car, still smiling.
My mind kept singing that song, "How you like me now?" My mouth, it kept on smiling.
Yesterday, I was feeling a bit better, so I went to pick up a few groceries. Not a whole weeks worth, I wasn't feeling that good. I did feel well enough to shop for a few days supply, however.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I drove toward a rear parking spot. I seem to always get my car dented by other car doors, or a shopping cart if I pull into a closer spot. I found the perfect spot, right at the back, and best of all there wasn't another car even remotely close to where I parked.
I walked around the store slowly, pacing myself. I was feeling better, but my chest still hurt, and I was very fatigued. I needed a few groceries and the fresh air and the exercise around the store would probably be beneficial.
I picked up the things I needed and I headed for the cashier. I was about to place my first item on the conveyor belt, but I was beat by a thirty-something man, budding in front of me. I didn't have the energy to complain or fight, so I just stood back and let him be checked out first. After he was finished, he looked at me, smiled and said "No harm, no foul." I think that is one of the more stupid expressions to say, I just looked at him, and decided I would ignore his rudeness and his poor sense of humour.
I finished paying for my groceries, and I walked toward my car. Beside my car, was a red, sporty Charger. When I say beside me, I should mention, I would need a can opener to get into my door. This person, parked so close to the drivers side of my car, I couldn't open the door. I had about a 6 inch clearance between both vehicles. "Oh that's just great!" I said to myself. "I parked all the way at the back, to prevent any dents and I end up with an as*hole, practically welded to the side of my car." I looked around, to see if I could see the owner of this car, but there was nobody to be seen. I unlocked my car, and began to pack my bags in the back of my car. I hoped that by the time I finished, this person, would be back, moving the car. As it turns out, luck was not on my side, so, I had to climb in the passenger door, and climb over the console and the gear shift. It was more difficult than I imagined. I was part way in, one leg on the passenger side, one leg on the drivers side, my rear end, balanced above the gear shift. I managed to get my right leg lifted over the center console, and maneuver myself in the drivers seat. I had a wedgie up to my belly button that needed immediate care. I pulled my pants out, and twisted them back to where they belonged. Breathing deeply, I was glad that was over with. I wanted to go home. I looked over at the passenger door, realizing it was wide open. Groaning, and grunting, I leaned back over the console to grab the door. I couldn't reach it. I literally had to lay down sideways, with the gearshift goosing my backside in order to close the door. I managed to reach the handle and shut the door. I had to push myself back up in the drivers seat. That was a mess! I became jammed in between the steering wheel and the back of the seat. Of course, if I hadn't have been kicked out of my yoga class, I might have been better able to readjust myself. I was part way up, when I heard a knock on the drivers window. I had to crane my neck to look, but when I did, I noticed the guy from the grocery store smiling at me, holding up a bag from Picard Peanuts, a store next to the parking lot where we were sitting. That explains what took him so long, I thought. He looked at me, in my awkward position and laughed, then he said "How's that feel?" He threw his head back laughing, I sat up, in time for him to speed out of the parking lot, waving to me. If I had had the strength, I would have flipped him the bird.
Finally, I was on my way, but my idiot light came on for low fuel and began to beep. I decided I had better fuel up before I went home.
I pulled out of the parking lot, and had to stop at the red light, before the gas station. After it turned green, I proceeded through the intersection, and was driving past the exit of Tim Hortons, when I heard a loud, long beeeeeeep, followed by a red Charger, pulling out in front of me, and not only cutting me off but scaring the daylights out of me. It was the same guy from the grocery store. Bastard!
It was time to turn into the gas station, but, as I pulled in, a streak of red shot in front of me, and pulled into an open gas line. There was an open spot ahead of him, but of course, he didn't pull up to allow anyone else to gas up at the same time. He pumped his gas, then went inside to pay, walking out 5 minutes later laughing. He looked at me and said "Ooh, if looks could kill, I'd be dead! How do you like me now?" Then he hopped in his car, screeching out of the lot of the gas station.
I filled my car, paid and turned up my street to go home.
This is the place in time, where the stars aligned for perfect justice. Across from the high school, just up from my house, is a church. Police like to sit there, and set up speed traps. Up ahead, was a police car, lights flashing, stopped behind a red Charger. Immediately, my mouth drew up into the biggest, Mr Grinch smile! I had no control over my mouth, it was pure reflex. I drove by very slowly, honking and waving. The guy in the red Charger, wasn't laughing or smiling, he looked at me with total contempt. It was an awesome feeling! Like the Stanley Cup of karma.
I pulled into my driveway, and walked to the back to open up my back hatch. Coming down the road, was the guy in the red Charger. He was stopped directly behind my driveway, behind 3 cars, waiting to turn the corner. His passenger window was open, so I bent down and peeked into his window. He wasn't expecting to see me staring back at him, and he jumped when I knocked on the top of his car. I smiled and said "How did that feel?" He just glared at me and closed his windows. I turned back to get my groceries out of my car, still smiling.
My mind kept singing that song, "How you like me now?" My mouth, it kept on smiling.
hahahahahahahahaha this was amazing.
ReplyDeleteIt was! For once I was a witness to "What goes around comes around ".
ReplyDelete