Watching Infomercials, While Under the Influence
Due to my lung infection, I am taking a fairly strong narcotic to help with the pain.
I have never been a drinker, in fact, I can count on 2 hands the times I have consumed alcohol. As far as drugs, Tylenol and Advil are the only drugs my body ever sees. Even after open heart surgery, I begged the doctors to take me off morphine because it made me sick.
That being said, Tylenol and Advil were not doing anything to control the pain in my chest and back from this infection. It feels like someone is hitting me in my chest and between my 2 shoulder blades with a rubber malot, every time I take a breath. Hence, the need for this narcotic.
I was having a particularly rough time yesterday, struggling with the pain. I couldn't keep ahead of it. I don't like taking my medication during the day, because it makes me groggy. However, I needed to take one yesterday afternoon. I popped one before my husband went to work, shortly after 1 pm.
I believe I know what it feels like to be among the walking dead. I decided a cup of green tea would be helpful, it's supposed to be good for you. I poured the water from the kettle and settled back down on the couch and snuggled under a fuzzy blanket. I took a drink of my tea and let the scalding liquid do its thing. Hmmm, I must be getting used to the taste of this stuff. Normally, I hate it. I flicked on the television, trying to get my mind off my troubles.
I hate soaps, and news is too depressing so I opted for an infomercial. By now, my medication had kicked in, and I wasn't so uncomfortable. In 90 minutes, I wanted to buy 3 different revolutionary things that would improve my life! The first one was the Paint Zoom, I could paint my whole house, garage, fence, everything in 2 hours! I need that! I needed to find my purse.
I walked to my bedroom, I couldn't find it in its regular spot. "Where the hell is it?" I was talking to myself. The infomercial was almost over, and my sense of panic began to rise. I'll jot down the telephone number for when I find my purse.
A new infomercial came on. Wow! A Bowflex! I need that! "Where is my purse?" As I sat and watched, I just knew this would be perfect for me. No more water guns full of blue Gatorade, no more getting stung by hornets, the idea was more than appealing! I could burn 1000 calories in a day, safe inside my house. Whohoo! I really needed to find my purse. I searched my living room, but still couldn't find it. Oh no! I only had 2 minutes left! Panic had once again taken over.
I checked out my kitchen, thinking I must have left my purse in there. I didn't.
I could hear a new voice on the television now, no more Bowflex. Damn!
This time, I was watching how Slick X3 was revolutionizing the cleaning world. Wow! I needed that too! It promised a sparkling toilet! A sparkling toilet! I love sparkling toilets! I jumped up, and began searching once again for my purse. I couldn't let this opportunity pass! I threw all of my cushions off my sectional, looked in the closet, checked under my bed. Time was ticking on, but still no purse!
My afternoon was filled with wonder, and promises of retail nirvana. If only I could find my purse!
I sat down, frustrated, and I began to get groggy. I reached for my cup of green tea, now cold, and realized there wasn't even a tea bag in my cup. It was plain water. That explains why I didn't gag. My head was hurting and I just wanted to sleep.
I crawled into my bed at 3 o'clock, and fell into a dead sleep. I rolled over onto something hard and cold. It woke me up. I finally found my purse.
I made my way into the kitchen and drank some water. My head felt heavy, it was dark outside. It was 9:45! Oh my!
I had to return calls to my husband, son and daughter. They had called while I was in my comatose state. I assured them I was still alive.
I didn't dare turn on my television! I know why I don't take drugs. Drugs aren't safe, they turn rational people into shopping junkies.
I collected my thoughts, and made myself a cup of real tea. This time I remembered to put the tea bag in.
Today, I am feeling better, but I will give my husband my credit card...just in case.
I have never been a drinker, in fact, I can count on 2 hands the times I have consumed alcohol. As far as drugs, Tylenol and Advil are the only drugs my body ever sees. Even after open heart surgery, I begged the doctors to take me off morphine because it made me sick.
That being said, Tylenol and Advil were not doing anything to control the pain in my chest and back from this infection. It feels like someone is hitting me in my chest and between my 2 shoulder blades with a rubber malot, every time I take a breath. Hence, the need for this narcotic.
I was having a particularly rough time yesterday, struggling with the pain. I couldn't keep ahead of it. I don't like taking my medication during the day, because it makes me groggy. However, I needed to take one yesterday afternoon. I popped one before my husband went to work, shortly after 1 pm.
I believe I know what it feels like to be among the walking dead. I decided a cup of green tea would be helpful, it's supposed to be good for you. I poured the water from the kettle and settled back down on the couch and snuggled under a fuzzy blanket. I took a drink of my tea and let the scalding liquid do its thing. Hmmm, I must be getting used to the taste of this stuff. Normally, I hate it. I flicked on the television, trying to get my mind off my troubles.
I hate soaps, and news is too depressing so I opted for an infomercial. By now, my medication had kicked in, and I wasn't so uncomfortable. In 90 minutes, I wanted to buy 3 different revolutionary things that would improve my life! The first one was the Paint Zoom, I could paint my whole house, garage, fence, everything in 2 hours! I need that! I needed to find my purse.
I walked to my bedroom, I couldn't find it in its regular spot. "Where the hell is it?" I was talking to myself. The infomercial was almost over, and my sense of panic began to rise. I'll jot down the telephone number for when I find my purse.
A new infomercial came on. Wow! A Bowflex! I need that! "Where is my purse?" As I sat and watched, I just knew this would be perfect for me. No more water guns full of blue Gatorade, no more getting stung by hornets, the idea was more than appealing! I could burn 1000 calories in a day, safe inside my house. Whohoo! I really needed to find my purse. I searched my living room, but still couldn't find it. Oh no! I only had 2 minutes left! Panic had once again taken over.
I checked out my kitchen, thinking I must have left my purse in there. I didn't.
I could hear a new voice on the television now, no more Bowflex. Damn!
This time, I was watching how Slick X3 was revolutionizing the cleaning world. Wow! I needed that too! It promised a sparkling toilet! A sparkling toilet! I love sparkling toilets! I jumped up, and began searching once again for my purse. I couldn't let this opportunity pass! I threw all of my cushions off my sectional, looked in the closet, checked under my bed. Time was ticking on, but still no purse!
My afternoon was filled with wonder, and promises of retail nirvana. If only I could find my purse!
I sat down, frustrated, and I began to get groggy. I reached for my cup of green tea, now cold, and realized there wasn't even a tea bag in my cup. It was plain water. That explains why I didn't gag. My head was hurting and I just wanted to sleep.
I crawled into my bed at 3 o'clock, and fell into a dead sleep. I rolled over onto something hard and cold. It woke me up. I finally found my purse.
I made my way into the kitchen and drank some water. My head felt heavy, it was dark outside. It was 9:45! Oh my!
I had to return calls to my husband, son and daughter. They had called while I was in my comatose state. I assured them I was still alive.
I didn't dare turn on my television! I know why I don't take drugs. Drugs aren't safe, they turn rational people into shopping junkies.
I collected my thoughts, and made myself a cup of real tea. This time I remembered to put the tea bag in.
Today, I am feeling better, but I will give my husband my credit card...just in case.
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